tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-105454972024-03-12T22:45:24.699-05:00soliloquies in hidingmattadE bEsara adE saMje adE EkaaMta!Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.comBlogger129125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-34163565425168316872010-11-18T08:20:00.002-06:002010-11-18T08:29:11.685-06:00Signing Off.....Just from the blogger space :). Its really been a wonderful space to be in. Blogger has nurtured me so long, helped me put out the thoughts, rants, complaints, feelings and all that came to my mind on its space. As I read through the posts here, I can see a lot of things changing within me too. <br />Now with all that baggage on my back, am shifting bases. Have bought a domain for myself! I guess thatz when you can believe that I've become pompous enough to take my writings with seriousness. LOL.. whatever, it is, blogger will always remain special for me.<br />So my dear readears, if I may be so vain enough as to assume that you still visit these pages, I would request you to take a bit more of brunt and do come and visit me at my place on web - <a href="http://www.praveens.in/">www.praveens.in</a> :)<br />Hoping to continue to see you there.....<br /><br />Thanks blogger! :) Eternally indebted to you... :)Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-54092258597339234102010-03-10T07:41:00.002-06:002010-03-10T07:44:09.306-06:00Kabootar Ja...Ja...Jaa....Not very long ago, I am sure you all remember the pomp and glory with which our esteemed self had announced its return to the home turf. The bon homie did last for sometime I must say, and now, our mommy dearie wants to get into the details. Just what are those specifics that she is underlining offlate is any boy-staying-with-parents’ guess! Right from picking up the clothes lying around in ma room.. to picking up a bride (to loiter around in my room) is on the list of have-to-dos. One is more akin to seein’ the quintessential linear markings of a certain silver kind on the dark horizon and thus amidst all this, we spotted a lot of grub for blog! So after mommy dearest handed down the list of “do-this-else-i’ll-whop-your-sorry-a$$”, we got down to handle the daunting tasks… in order that suited us! And here we are dishing out a post! Amen!!<br /><br />While sorting out the fossils accumulated in my book shelf drawers (the first on the list), out popped the long dead Engineering notes, half drawn sketches of God-only-knows-what, birthday cards, mushy bye-bye cards, scrap books (Ah! the innocence of childhood), and finally a bundle of letters! Hmmmm… letters…. mused my mind. Much like the neandrethel gaping at the spherical structure in front of him, and uttering those weird sounds “Wheee”… “Wheee”… “Wheeeeel” to make up for the lack of anything more sensible, I made similar sounds albeit of more sophistication “OOoooooohhh!!” “Aaaaaahhhh”… “Awwwww” and the likes. Memories tumbled down of my first pen-pal(ly) ofcourse! She was a friend of Prarthana while we were in highschool and was looking for a pen-pal. Needless to say, being the boy of the hour, I stepped in duly to fulfill her needs, and soon enough, Prarts was playing the Kabootar between me and her. Ofcourse there was no romantic inclination, lemme make it clear upfront. But there certainly was the charm associated with penning words that we knew would be gazed at by a friend at the other end. And great wonder of wonders! We also found a wonderfully hidden, yellowing parchment of what was once a paper, that had in it the loving yearning of a girl, I was so totally smitten by while I was in 7th Standard! Yep! Buddies!! with eyes moistening, I realized that the <a href="https://ch1blogs.cognizant.com/blogs/159118/2007/09/24/stupid-cupid-finale-such-is-life/">Stupid Cupid</a> afterall had managed to preserve just one letter of my Wonder years when I had written my first love letter to the one girl I had gifted my heart to, on a platter!! I read, re-read, re-re-read the letter…..and finally for lack of anything better, let out a sigh.<br /><br />Do people still write Love letters? Have any of you written a love letter? The idea of a letter by itself in this fast paced lightning-speed email/sms age seems archaic. Needless to say, its already replaced the notion of a postman to someone who brings in the bills and statements than anything remotely humane in content! Maybe in the remote corners of India, people still communicate using letters, and maybe someday, if my mom has her way, I’ll be taking my kids over there to show them just how a snail-mail (such an unromantic and degrading nomenclature) looks and works! Anyhooo, lets get back to the Love letters. The idea of writing a love letter itself was so irrepressibly romantic that it spawned generations of lilting romantic numbers in every language that has dished out movies on the screen! Be it Rajendra kumar begging Vyjayanthimala not to give him a beating with “Yeh mera prem patr padhkar”, to Shashi kapoor doing his stick-dance for a sharmili Asha Parekh with “Likhe jo khat tujhe…woh teri yaad mein”…. aaaahh!! I know, so many of you are now silently nodding their heads and smiling! ;) Circa 1990s and Bhagyashree coaxing the dove to carry her letter to Sallu Bhai had set the hearts rolling on the streets, gallis and nukkads. And surely enough, every heart ever asunder in the burning fire of pining love was doling out letters by kilos! Nowadays, we have our ears bulldozed by Reshammiyas of the netherworlds, who don’t know which particular anatomy of their body should be used to sing let alone act!<br /><br />The first time I ever saw a love letter was ofcourse by “accident” when I was fishing through the locker of my parents looking for chocolates (Yep!! There! I said it! My mom had the most dubious distinction of hiding my favorite chocolates in the weirdest of places least of which wasn’t the locker). I wasn’t ofcourse able to read through it entirely, what with the details being etched in miniscule letters for want of more space! But the gist mentioned in the first couple of lines of how much she missed my father was sufficient enough to turn my cheeks a deep hue of pink! Later ofcourse, entirely due to the fault of the genes my lovely parents bestowed me with, I was handling out love letters left, right and center! :D And if girls flipped by the lot, well, what can I say! Magic hands baby ;) (and the genes ofcourse!!)<br /><br />The toughest part of writing a love letter, I feel is just that! The writing!! Painstakingly you have to choose the words to give just the right amount of feeling. Not too laid back, not too desperate! Not handing the heart on a platter, nor barricading it! How does one dish out such a word-perfect love letter?! I am yet to discover! The emphasis is ofcourse laid on the feeling not just the verbal cosmetics. And inspite of all the best laid out words, one can never be too assured of a hit (sic) both physical and emotional!! :P<br /><br />After writing, comes the second daunting task of actually handing over the letter to the girl. Many a movie plots have found this to be the turning point that they seek! Hearts stop and breathes gasp just as the poor hero goes to hand over the love letter to the lady-love only to find her cozing up in the arms of his best friend or worst rival! Ouch! Else we have him with sweaty hands and smelly arm pits handing it over to the girl and soon are teleported to swiss locales to find them both prancing around like puppies with cooties! The best that has ever transpired when I handed a love letter was to find the girl smile and nod her consent while the worst… well… let’s not get into it! The post is increasing in its size! ;) For those who are worried of their well being, ofcourse there are friends - both human and non-human that can be called upon to aid in the need of the hour! Dogs, pigeons, swans, to monkeys have all essayed the roles of romantic messengers.<br /><br />Love has certainly come of age! We no longer talk of “janam-janam ka naata”! Lovers these days philosophize about the effervescence of public buses and girls (or boys too!) in our lives and rightly forbid from too much of mourning. Love letters have become short and crisp. They have changed to the formats of emails and sms. From agonizingly long sentences prophecizing the lives that one would want to live with one another, we now see “I lv u. Wanna gt 2gthr” being txtd arnd! Love makes the world go round and Love letters ensure that corporates stay in business. The VHPs and Bajrang Dals of the world not withstanding, we still celebrate love the old fashioned way atleast once in a year with Valentine’s Day! People exchange greeting cards (for those strapped of cash, there’s e-cards), write love poems, treat eachother at candle light dinners, propose, depose, and maybe a few of them proclaim their love through words etched on a paper!!!<br /><br />Those of you who are in love, go home, or if your project is boring, snatch that letter pad and write something out, in your own handwriting, your own feelings and send it across to that one loving heart that you feel is meant for you! Those of you who wanna be in love, do the same and keep ur fingers crossed! In the meanwhile….I have a lot more cleaning to do and who knows what I may find next to spawn a lengthy boring post to heckle you all with!! ;)Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-85896039212024980582009-11-08T23:28:00.002-06:002009-11-08T23:37:18.502-06:00Hum bhi agar bachhe hote...Had a bad night. Unwanted, unwarranted, misleading and misunderstood argument with a friend, hurtful words, unintended meanings stifling the air around me! Nearly sleepless night.... grubby morning, cloudy weather, Monday!<br />Made a fake cheery presence to my mom, and headed towards the auto stand... 3 buses full of kids, probably on their way to a picnic pull over near the traffic signal, and out of nowhere, the whole bunch of kids lined up near the windows called out and a medley of "TaTa!!" "Good Morning", "Anna!! Hiiiiiii" rang out! And suddenly it all seemed okie. :)<br /><br />Why is it so tough for us to be child like? Simple... uncomplicated... and contended?Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-27532849370160715302009-09-22T13:08:00.003-05:002009-09-22T13:12:38.973-05:00After a While...Received this poem as a comment from Sushma.... was so good that I didn't think it was fair to leave it in the comments section so moving it as a post.<br /><br />I know it has feminine overtones to it.. but I strongly feel it transgresses the genders...<br /><br /><br /><br />After a While<br /><br />After a while<br />you learn<br />The subtle difference between<br />Holding a hand and chaining a soul<br />And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning<br />And company doesn't always mean security.<br /><br /><br />And you begin to learn<br />That kisses aren't contracts<br />And presents aren't promises<br />And you begin to accept your defeats<br />With your head up and your eyes ahead<br />With the grace of a woman<br />Not the grief of a child<br /><br /><br />And you learn<br />To build all your roads on today<br />Because tomorrow's ground is<br />Too uncertain for plans<br />And futures have a way<br />Of falling down in mid flight<br /><br />After a while you learn<br />That even sunshine burns if you get too much<br />So you plant your own garden<br />And decorate your own soul<br />Instead of waiting<br />For someone to bring you flowers<br /><br /><br />And you learn<br />That you really can endure<br />That you are really strong<br />And you really do have worth<br />And you learn and you learn<br />With every good bye you learn.<br /><br /><br /><br />By,<br />Veronica A. ShoffstallPraveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-91414530659031654622009-09-05T22:57:00.002-05:002009-09-05T23:05:51.976-05:00You are Framed!!One of the most horrible crimes we can commit in a relationship is to frame people! Limit their scope, actions and responses into a framework and expect the magnanimous human personality with its countless manifestations and attributes to fit into that framework. We did the same to God, we do the same to human beings (or is it vice versa?!!)! And we wonder why relationships don't work or seem so complicated!!! Sigh....Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-57646240296125331652009-07-29T12:39:00.002-05:002009-07-29T13:00:58.515-05:00Mr. Hyde......<div align="justify">Got into the Bus 333T (Volvo) near my office. There was a pleasant Kannada station playing on the radio. There were 2 girls from North (very coincidental... I hold nothing against them.. just their attitudes. Read on) started acting smart... passing ridiculous comments.. and making stupid remarks.. with their usual gusto! To top it off.. they started playing some stupid pop numbers on their laptop in full volume.</div><div align="justify">Couldn't tolerate it.. mouthed off.. and before getting down... called them B*******! I know I lost my cool.. I also know that I wanted to lose it.</div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-24436510746092660022009-07-01T20:25:00.002-05:002009-07-01T20:52:01.728-05:00Dushman na kare......Its early in the morning... its been 2 days now and am disturbed. It is an unnerving experience as if you have just been burgled!! And the culprit is someone you had least expected to do something like this. Yes, we are all accustomed to thinking that strangers are more akin to rob us. But when the ones you consider close to you, or thought would be close, turn out to be total strangers, it is a nerve wrecking experience, and to top it, to have the feeling of being betrayed stuffed down your throat only worsens the situation. We are all just "somebody" to everyone else, I guess! Unfortunately that includes some people who aren't "somebody" for us!<br /><br />It really hurts - That the person who you don't think to be "somebody" for you, thinks that you are "just somebody"! Karma? Human psychology? I'm playing the song - "Dushman na kare.." in a repetitive mode. I have no other song that can better touch my mood right now. Am I letting it worsen, or do I actually want to get over it? God as my witness, I really do want to get over this! I want to forget everything that happened, and just move on! But its so much easier said than done! I've often times emphasized to so many that one has to forgive and forget to achieve the peace of mind. But yet, today that seems like the hardest thing for me to do. Not forgiving, but forgetting all that happened. <em>"pehle toh hosh cheen liye zulm-o-sitam se, deewangi ka phir hamein ilzaam diya hai" </em><br /><br />Gladly enough I haven't shed tears for all that has happened. LOL! I am not smiling that it happened either! But the pain is killing! The hurt is deep, and closed wounds somehow have opened up again! I am vulnerable afterall!! "<em>na khuda ka hum ne jinhe naam diya hai.... umr bhar ka gam hamein inaam diya hai..."</em> Gawd!! I just wish I could wake up in the morning and find out that all of this was just a bad, terrible, and hopeless dream! There is a growing numbness in my heart... cold and deathly.... and am gasping for breathe... there was a hand that seemed as if it was ready to clasp me and pull me aboard... only then did I realize that it was the hand that actually overthrew me into the cold currents that are lapping me up into their bosoms...............and am too shocked to even scream.........Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-36335831905323681032009-06-26T21:35:00.004-05:002009-06-27T21:53:33.901-05:00Confusious Thinks......Lots of Ranting coming up!! So run for covers!<br /><br /><br />*******************************************************<br /><ol><br /><br /><li>What is so hard about expectations?! What we have of others... or of what others have of us?!</li><br /><li>How do you truly know what you want?! I know people say all about feeling.. intuition.. gut feeling.. blah blah blah blah... but has anyone ever really experienced it? Before you ever set out on something, has anyone felt that this is IT! The ONE magical thing that he/she has been waiting for?!</li><br /><li>It is true that one has to be truthful for oneself. But which self is one to be truthful for? Its easy to say that there is only one 'self' but how many of us really have only one 'self'?!</li><br /><li>There is 'self' for the family, there is a 'self' for the society, there is a 'self' for your friends... does one get to pick and choose which one of these is "MY SELF?" Or if I were to choose something totally different of all of these, and call that as "MYSELF".. will the society, the family, my friends accept it? So eventually.. what am I to them? An identity defined by the masks they prefer to see me in? Or does it even matter.......?!!</li><br /><li>Why is it so tough to let go of the desire to Control?! Relations, people, circumstances, we are forever striving to exercise control over everything around us! There is a thrill in letting go too! Maybe we'd end up with having something in our hands that we don't like or we don't want.. but is Life all about getting everything that we want?!!</li><li>It'd be so easy for me sometimes, if I'd be left to my own, but world seldom does that! Everyone has expectations that are expected to be met. I dunno what is so hard.. the expectations I have of others.. or what others have of me..................</li></ol>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-49286327136120708462009-01-24T05:58:00.005-06:002009-03-04T22:06:28.473-06:00Mamma Mia! - Much Ado about....<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KyjMVdwcb1Y/SXsVKY_wQxI/AAAAAAAAABw/FJDH2AnEP6k/s1600-h/mamma-mia-poster-1.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294849055156880146" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 224px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 307px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_KyjMVdwcb1Y/SXsVKY_wQxI/AAAAAAAAABw/FJDH2AnEP6k/s320/mamma-mia-poster-1.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div align="justify"><strong>Please Note:- </strong>Spoilers ahead! (T)read carefully!! (<em>Not that it really matters ya know! ;)</em>)</div><br /><br /><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">3 middle age ... well not really, rather...... post middle age women, and 3 similar men, a young couple who believe that they are the wonderland Atlantians prancing around in a Greek Land and a whole cohort of similar Greeks! Add to this concoction a whole range of ABBA numbers from their famous musicals and pronto - you've got <strong>MAMMA MIA! </strong>So what went wrong with it? Just one small fact that the movie has come nearly a decade or two late! And that is only the beginning!</div><br /><br /><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">ABBA has been my favorite music band ever since childhood. Growing up listening to "<em>Dancing Queen</em>", "<em>Chiquitita</em>", "<em>SOS</em>", and craving for "<em>Money Money Money</em>" has become such an integral part of my identification with my childhood. So when Universal Studios teamed up with couple of other productions and came up with the idea to bring their world-famous musical to screen, with a conglomeration of Producers which has Tom Hanks (My Favorite) in them too and a star cast that includes the fabulous Meryl Streep (Another of my top favorites) in the lead, that was too awesome for me to resist! Eagerly had I waited for it to hit the screens. Nagging reviews not withstanding, I rushed forth and sure enough obtained my share of disappointments. Comeon Hollywood!! Even a Bollywood dishout wouldn't have been so! (Or then again....maybe they'd have screwed it up even worse!) Sigh! </div><br /><br /><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is about to get married to her boyfriend (Dominic Cooper). But she has a long standing dream of hers to have her father give her away. The problem with this? She doesn't know who her father is! Momma Donna (Meryl Streep..as sweet as ever) apparently was rather playful one spring!! But the snoopy lil creatures that teenage girls usually are, she discovers that there are 3 possible men who could've fathered her, and so sends out letters to all three inviting them for her wedding. Whatever happened to decency, I wonder?!! And sure enough the 3 males land in the island of Kalokairi - Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgard and Colin Firth! Along with them land the girls of Sophie and Donna! You have to see to believe their team <a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KyjMVdwcb1Y/SXsVX-EsByI/AAAAAAAAAB4/3ANmg-QgfLM/s1600-h/mammamia.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5294849288447985442" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 247px" alt="" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KyjMVdwcb1Y/SXsVX-EsByI/AAAAAAAAAB4/3ANmg-QgfLM/s320/mammamia.jpg" border="0" /></a>cheer! Well what follows along is a typical chick-fare replete with songs, yells, shrill cries, and the usual 'girl moments' (whatever that is supposed to be) talking about true love!!! errrrm.....yeah in case u didn't know Kalokairi is the place where anyone who wants true love should go and drink water from!! (<em>Now u tell me!! After spending a decade looking for one! Sheesh!! Why is it that I always come to know it when I have outgrown it!). </em>Like they say the best (or in this case the worst) was indeed saved for the last! I had a is-this-really-happening look on my face for when the movie ends (or so we think) we have the lead casts strutting back on screen in pink bell bottoms and hay-wire attires singing "Waterloo" and "Dancing Queen" once again!</div><br /><br /><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">In all fairness to the movie, you can really feel the vibe amongst the actors! I mean, comeon guys (and gals) its ABBA music we are talking about! Who wouldn't wanna dance and tap their feet to them! But err... you know... all said and done, to watch oldie Julie Waters and Christine Baranski cracking slapstick jokes about nights with men and sticking protrusions in btw their pants... errrr... its just not what I'm built up to watch! Sure the songs have been tweaked around.. "<em>Does your mother know</em>" isn't about a girl but a guy here hitting on Christine Baranski! To have the leads and the characters sing out the numbers was probably the biggest disappointment! At this age, well, they really cannot do justice for the zest and vigor that the numbers of ABBA call for! </div><br /><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Meryl Streep is as fresh and full of life as ever! Here is one talented actress who can bring down a whole legion of actresses to their feet in front of her! The diva as always! Some numbers rendered by her is quite good! Though sometimes, in some numbers such as <em>Mamma Mia </em>she does seem a lil over-doing it... but she does eventually add her own charm into the whole movie! She's the only reason I went ahead and bought the VCD. Julie Waters is absolutely forgettable (she gets to sing <em>Take a chance on me) </em>and Christine Baranski did a passable job on "<em>Does your mother you"</em>. The crew could've certainly done a better job in covering the island's beauty. A movie completely shot on a Greek island had totally raised my expectations on the camera work. But it was majorly focussed on the wedding cast.. than the wedding place. </div><br /><br /><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Well all said and done, I can't deny one thing. I was all smiles throughout the movie. And no not because of the way it was, but having realized that the movie wasn't really worth paying attention to, my mind had already drifted back to the days of the yore - when wearing shorts was something that nobody really cared about! Well.. if you are as die-hard fan of ABBA and Meryl Streep as I am.... guess it wouldn't hurt to watch this movie! :)</div><br /><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">And before I leave.. buddies.. take care of one more thing.. no matter of expensive it may be.... buy a DVD or VCD that is not BIG Home Video in the make. Watching the movie on the Reliance made VCD is a pain! oh yeah! BIG Home Video --> you suck! Please don't produce movie VCDs! Thank you! </div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"><strong>Overall Rating: 3.0/5.0</strong></div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-44617566579664466672009-01-11T04:58:00.001-06:002009-01-11T05:12:37.601-06:00Aaaam....coming up!<div align="justify">So you better get this party started!!!</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">And why would it be any different this time around you ask?! Well... yeah I know! I've been that elusive guy who never kept his promises! But then, love is blind! Or so I'd like to believe! ;) But then more practically speaking, this time is a bit different because, I've finally managed to get a net connection at home! Not that its absence was the only reason for me not having to post.. mind you! But well, atleast something to cover me up. I'll say! :) </div><div align="justify">A few updates from my end!</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I am no more in Coimbatore! The journey has moved on to a new destination. I am now in Chennai!! Sigh... the nomadic existence just doesn't seem to let go of me! And I have turned a new leaf! Mostly I used to blog in my corporate blog space, but then I've always loved the anonymity on the big WWW! So here i am back, with my rants, my happiness and my nothings! How many of my old crowd is still around, its tough to say. Maybe there shall be some new ones coming around too? Well thatz for time to show, but for now... I am back! And I shall be writing... :) </div><div align="justify"></div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-91207782689001982372008-04-06T13:14:00.003-05:002008-04-07T05:34:45.452-05:00Nomadic Musings!!And so, here I am back on the turf that I had long seized playing on. The grasses have grown tall, weeds in between too, and am not so sure, if I can wield the bat as well as I used to! Chandan, had written earlier in one of this <a href="http://chandanv.blogspot.com/2007/06/small-observation.html">blogs</a> (studying the nature of bloggers and their blogs) that a blog reflects the state of mind a blogger is in. Given the inactivity of my space for such a long time, I wonder what it can be classified as. Thankfully no one wrote me off as being wiped away!! What was even more heartening was that people wrote to me personally asking me the reason for my absence from the blogging world, and imploring me, threatening me, coaxing me nicely to get back to the writing mode.<br /><br />Much like my blog, even I have not been having a feeling of having ever settled down. If my blog were to have feelings, I guess it’d wonder why there is no routine in its life! Regular posts, comments from the endearing readers, feedbacks, regular make-over!! Nothing at all!!! Likewise, I do not have a settled feeling yet! I still am a Nomad. I guess there is a part of me that enjoys this nomadic existence. One has to give credit to the freedom of existence that this life assures of. And believe me, I do treasure it! Work – professional and personal has kept me rather occupied. The excuse may seem as lame to you too, as it does to me, or even more! But believe me, the writer in me, had probably taken a sabbatical for a few months. During which period, I may even be accused of indulging in frivolous living, as I had taken to writing elsewhere, rather than in my personal blog-space!! (Ah! The nerve of me!!)<br /><br />Writer’s block is a classic excuse for many out here for the continued absence. I would like to be counted amongst them too! It isn’t that I could not have keyed some words in…. but rather that I never felt like. It’s like coming back to meet a good ol’ friend of the yore, and there is an urge to share so many things with him, but one never does! One just waits for another time. I guess one way to overcome this is to just sit down, and start typing. That is what I am doing now, as I am on my way to Bangalore. Rustic landscapes, beautiful hills draped in green, large expanse of paddy fields with lakes and ponds interspersed. Who wouldn’t feel like sharing a few thoughts across? Those who care to listen will continue to read, and those who don’t, will shut the browser and move on. Life continues…..Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-85340090110011314432007-08-18T11:15:00.000-05:002007-08-18T11:19:48.201-05:00Crawlers and Creepers!!<strong><em>Well Well.. after a very very laaang time.. I am back into the blogging foray!! Missed u all chums.. dearies!! Trust me! I did!! So well.. here is something to start us all with... but before u embark... </em></strong><br /><strong><em></em></strong><br /><strong><em>Statutory Warnings:</em></strong><br /><strong><em><br />1. No this has nothing to do with preeetttty preettty flowers or plants!<br />2. The first person am gonna hear “hee-hee-haw-hawing” shall find the vertical protrusions in the frontal lobe of their skull strategically displaced and dispersed in a vast area following random distribution. (Pauses solemnly allowing the idea to sink……. )<br /><br /></em></strong><strong><em></em></strong><br />Why did God have to make cockroaches?! I cannot fathom of one sensible reason, as to what wonderful purpose they serve in this cosmos, that made the existence of these frankensteins absolutely necessary!! Well… I don’t wanna say am scared of ‘em (yeah! like that is really gonna sound so convincing! And I so much can hear my room mates sniggering to themselves.. didn’t they read the warning messages up there?!! Hmmphhff) But frankly the very thought of theirs is sufficient enough to make the hairs stand upright and send a chill down my spine. There is absolutely something very hideous about the structure of the cockroach. It could either be its long antenne groping around and feeling (I have a conviction that they actually are fear sensors), or those oooh-so-yucky looking eyes that can give Payal Rohatgi a run for her money (but still can’t beat He-man-shoo Malik’s acting prowess!! Yeah! I so much was waiting to say that!! Phew! Glad I got that out of my chest!). And those legs lined up with the prickly protrusions that have absolutely convinced me that the cockroaches are the godzillas of the pest world! Not to mention some of who have the exemplary powers of actually taking to flight, and send me on a marathon race all around the room, trying to dodge, screaming at the top of my voice much to the amusement of my absolutely enchanted room mates.<br />Under what extreme frustration did God conceive of this creature? Did he himself throw-up in disgust after that was completed? Questions galore! I still remember, that the only thing that’d get me shut my mouth and sit and study during my childhood was this darn creepy villain, whom my uncle would playfully catch and hover all around me (sweating profusely in all the wrong places!!!) till I’d take the book and get my **** down on the floor to read. *sigh There were times when he’d drop a dead one on me, and watch what was a fairly good impression of Michael Jackie-gone-loonie-with-masai-tribes-of-Africa dance, and even video shoot the entire scenario, which I bet he is planning to show my future kids (which is another reason I have decided to abstain from marriage! ).<br />To add shame to insult, even the education department of Karnataka is hands in glove with my uncle, and that explains why they’d want an absolutely non-violent guy like me (who immediately engages in a swift maneuvor of defence called “The Hare exit” whenever a cockroach were to enter my vicinity) to dissect an entire cockroach! On that fateful, much as I tried to escape (and am not gonna tell u all suckers what all I did! So there.. yaaaahhh), did eventually end up on the dissection table. The attendant brought a jar full of that-which-has-been-named-all-over-this-blogpost. And picked out one of it, and laid it infront of me. “Do not worry pa! This is dead..hehehehehe” I stared at it for a very long time, trying to find an inkling of life in the body structure, and after summoning nearly three thousand of the three crore Gods, I picked up the forceps to pick it up to pin it down on the board. And just as I touched it, one of the legs slightly quivered…… the next thing I know was of me, knife in hand, ala Rekha (hmmm.. can’t I think of another better example.. hmmm..uhhhh) in “Phool bane angaare” pounding on it madly, almost in a fit, till what lay before me couldn’t even remotely be related to an organism. The fact that my college friends still have stomach aches, when they think of it, is something that we shall very carefully draw curtains on.<br />To think that my stay in USA would have been devoid of their existence was a mirage. But one thing I was convinced of, is that anyday the Indian cockroaches(Blaberus giganteus) could give the American brethren a run of their money! I’ll tell you, these silly dumb periplanetus Americanas shall run helter and skelter if they’d see their Asian brethrens! They are so tiny, that am almost convinced that they don’t even wait to grow up, and all already generating their offsprings. Now these are the one entities I found absolutely unthreatening, and would get back at them with a vengeance unparalleled, a macho that I was! Before long, the phantom’s revenge was lying in wait for me! Right on the day I moved into the new rented house in Coimbatore, that night horror of horrors, not less than 30 cockroaches were holding a round sink tube conference sinisterly planning on evacuating us from their strong hold. Not to be undone, I, with a great courage and high valor summoned upon my room mates, handing each of them with brooms, boots and the good ol’ HIT! Safely posting myself on the kitchen pedestal, I just stopped short of doing a cheer group act, as they ran behind the members of the conference, exterminating them! Uhahahahahaha - Mogambo Khush hua!<br />Well, all said and done, I still have not been able to figure out just why they had to exist in my life!! So far, no girl has ever run into my arms, having been chased by a cockroach, and I repeat, that has nothing to do with me running much ahead of her! Equally confusing is the fact that a few of my Asian brethren somehow seem to fancy them to satisfy their appetite! I’d like to have a thorough examination of the mental status of the first person who viewed a cockroach, and exclaimed “Now there’s something that looks tasty to eat!” ugggghhhhhhh…. So let’s lay that option also to rest. But then, for a creature that is known to survive even a nuclear holocaust, all it takes is a stick broom, or a hawaii chappal to have its innards spilled out. But that is something that I have very sportively left for my roomies to do! As for me, its time I scoot….<br /><br /><strong><em>Parting stunt:-</em></strong> When in America, refrain from using the word - Cockroaches, they are called only “roaches” over there, the reason, is something that we shall refrain from sharing with the mass for purely aesthetic reasons.Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-82457901622042024982007-03-14T11:56:00.000-05:002007-03-14T12:55:54.561-05:00Regardant de retour<div align="justify">3 long months... I even missed the 2nd year Burrday celebrations of my blogspace! My reader community has been disappointed with me... and I don't know if what I may say, will be construed as an excuse! But I am offering none! So what was so worthwhile that kept me away from blogging?! </div><div align="justify">Going by the past postings, if one were to feel that it was the job hunt, I would have to say, with all sincerity, "NO"! I knew I will get a job, a good one at that, but there was a lot more that I felt that needs to be done. And to give form to my ambition, my aunt landed in India. And that was how my work for the Comprehensive Stroke Management Center, started by my aunt in Bangalore, began. The responsibilities vested on me were multiferous, and educative. Not only was it an enriching experience, it was truly humbling. To serve mankind, and to connect to them at a spiritual level, realizing the oneness of the self with the universe, and through this, the true divinity vested inside us all - that is the essence of human life! And that is the path, that I have set out on. </div><div align="justify">And then again, the mundane affairs that still tie one down! A laptop that served faithfully for 3 years is finally in the ICU, requiring a critical IC transplant, that has to happen for it to survive. The Tech-docs say that even if the donor IC is available, the transplant itself is a very delicate procedure, and one can only hope for a success! "Hum poori koshish karenge, baaki sab Uparvaale ke haath mein hai"..... Cut! </div><div align="justify">Scene change... at the door steps of a temple... "tum ne meri DVDs mujhse cheen li... maine kuch nahin kaha... mere VCDs ko barbaad kar diye, main chup raha... uff na kiya.. sab kuch sehta raha... kabhie tum se kuch nahin maanga! Lekin aaj! AAAAJ! main chup nahin rahoonga! mujhe mera laptop lauta de.. bhagwan! mujhe mera laptop lauta de... " bells ringing.... chambels sounding all over... </div><div align="justify">Voice from the sky: Bete... abhi tere laptop theek hone mein thodi der lagegi..tab tak.. tum desktop use karo! </div><div align="justify">Me: thank you bhagwan.. thank you.... </div><div align="justify">********* EXIT SINGING ALA HIMMESH RESHAMMIAH**********</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">And that done... now for the grand finale.... I got a job in Cognizant Technology Solutions.. yippeee.. hurray... wowza.... and all that later... the flip side is.. I will be moving to Coimbatore! And that is going to happen on Friday. Somehow, my life seems to have more dynamism, than I estimated. And so.. here I am signing off for another few days... on my way to a new adventure.. a new journey... a new path to be set! </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1166208163117401102006-12-15T12:38:00.000-06:002006-12-15T12:42:43.140-06:00A passin' thought....<span style="color:#6600cc;">Ghar se masjid hai bahut door</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">Chalo yun kar lein</span><br /><span style="color:#6600cc;">Kisi rote hue bachhe ko hansaaya jaaye.. </span><br /><br /><em>Lines taken from Jagjit Singh's album - INSIGHT (Song "Apna Gam") Written by Nida Fazli. </em>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1165083009743286492006-12-02T12:06:00.000-06:002006-12-02T12:10:09.766-06:00A Stranger At Home [Part -2]<div align="justify">I wonder what it is about staying away from home that really changes a person. Is it the sheer freedom that he gets to taste, or the responsibility that comes veiled along with it. Whatever it is, it was evident that I had changed. For the better or for the worse is yet to be determined. "I really don't understand why you have to stay up for so long in the night and sleep all through the morning!!! It is not healthy for your body you know! You werent' like this when you were here! How early you used to get up and collect the flowers, and do the pooja! Now you don't even bow down properly in front of the God, or sing the prayers! What has become of you!!" the exasperated cries from my mother only bade me pull the covers all over me, and huddle up on the bed. I was able to get off the initial days on the pretext of jet-lags. But it was evident that the pretext wouldn't last for long. It is hard to convince them of the efficacy of working at nights especially when during the day time they have the annoying TV turned on. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Well, in all sincerity it is not the TV that is so much annoying as the local programs that they watch. I was more accustomed to the occassional National Geographic, Discovery, and FRIENDS on the lighter side, not to mention the animations. They found them repulsive. I was only trying to draw a compromise between these polarities. The fall of night had offered me the shoulder to lean on and do my work in peace. Am I rationalizing? I wish I knew a sincere answer to this question. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">The plans of relaxing and frolicking the initial 2 weeks of my return was dashed as soon as I landed. There were responses to my job applications and a series of interviews had been lined up. How I wished that I be left in peace for sometime! Needless to say, most of them were dashed on the rocks. "You know, I really don't think you are putting in your sincere efforts on the job front" - It was now the turn of my father. "All you do is sit in the house and say that you are applying over through emails. We used to go out and look out for jobs. Why dont you visit the companies and drop your profiles everywhere?!! Am I supposed to tell you all this? I expected you to have learnt something after having gone to US for so many years! Seems like all you have learnt is junk! Your degree isn't serving any purpose! It was a waste, what with you still remaining jobless!! Why don't you atleast enquire about some courses that you can do here through which you could get a job! Huh?! All you do is sit in your room in front of your laptop and work away to glory, that I fail to see anywhere approaching!!" The seething emotions inside me took a long time to cool down. I wanted to shriek that it had hardly been a couple of weeks since I returned! I wanted a respite from all this. I decided I will get out of the house and go and drop the resumes at a few companies close by. </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1164391648408701062006-11-24T12:04:00.000-06:002006-11-24T12:07:28.426-06:00A Stranger At Home [Part -1]<div align="justify">The swift wind blowing through the window made me pull the overcoat tighter and closer around my body. I glanced outside the window of the moving vehicle, not willing to shut it down. I wanted to look at the streets, the racing view of the stores, people walking by, engrossed in my own thoughts. The mind deciphered with disinterest, the fleeting images. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">"So, how does it feel to be back home?," Shashi quipped. I looked at him. He was watching me through the rear view mirror. "It feels natural chikkappa (Uncle). It's my house, I am feeling just fine." I smiled. He smiled back, "It has changed a lot. What say we stop for a cold badam milk? You haven't had proper food all through the flight journey. We can also pick up some sweets for home." I liked the offer but was apprehensive of my parents who would be waiting anxiously. After he assured that it would be quick, I readily accepted. We stopped at Mishra's Bakery. I loved their Dharwad pedas. "Let's get some of 'em." I looked at the prices and whistled. "WOW! Look at that. They sure cost dearer than when I left Bangalore or should I say Bengalooru!". We bought a few other delicacies alongwith it, gulped down the milk and Shashi went on to cough up the bucks. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">"Well look at you! You have just landed back from the US of A, a Masters Graduate! Why do you worry about money, you deserve this and a lot more of treats!" he made a rather vocal observation, that made me look at him with a wide eyed, embarassingly amused look. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks. The cashier hitherto nonchalant, instantly paused and fixed his gaze at me for a while, flashed a smile, acknowledging the words of my uncle. I reciprocated rather sheepishly and hurried towards the van. "Thanks a lot for reminding me that!," I said sharply. "Cool down! Didn't you notice how he seemed pleased with your presence in his stall?," Shashi winked at me. "What more! He didn't mind me paying him 2 Rs less than the actual price!". "Oh! What a kill Shashi.. what a kill!" I got down from the van, pulling out my luggage. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">My parents were at the door, my mother with a smile on her face. "My! You haven't reduced one bit! How much pizzas and ice creams have you been stuffing yourself with!! Go and washup, I will lay the dinner." In between my father enquired about the flight, the delays and the customs. To each one his own, I thought and smiled to myself. "Your friends have been calling up since morning! They sure do keep track of your whereabouts!," said Amma. "I was wondering why you haven't yet brought up that topic!," I retorted. The luggage was instantly rummaged, the goodies disposed off, the rest divided amidst the gathered, and I hit the bed. </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1163064585445801782006-11-09T03:27:00.000-06:002006-11-09T03:29:45.460-06:00Jst 4 Fn!!<div align="justify">Oh! My revered readers I beg thee pardon for I hath refrained from providing thy honored presence with anything worthwhile to pen about. But lest, thou shalt all abandon me in grave disappointment, here I am, better being late than never, updating this haloed space, one that is glowing not by my incoherent talks, but rather by thine revered presences!!!</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">---------------------------------------------@-------------------------------------------------</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Well now lets time travel to circa 2020 A.D:-</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Hey buddy! Sup man? U knw hw lng 'ts been since this spc ws updtd by dum' ol' me! Say I sure hpe u guyz weren't disapntd. U knw all this talk abt. upgradng the academic wrld 2 accept the sms lingo yaar! Ain't it kewl! ;) Jst imagine sm day v cld all b jst cnvrsng like this. Who wd wanna hv all those dum' ol' grammar daa.. so boring! geez! Like that bloke in 2day's toi daa hez so kewl man! He sd it rt - coz we chat dude, n v sms 4 hrs naa.. n v wanna b soundng kewl.. so I say 2 hell with strctrs maaan.. da only strctrs 2 thnk of shld b dat of chix maccha! Gawdddd.. I sw this dame maaan.. she wz soooo haaawwwtttt!!! Well.. nw letz cm bck 2 da topic dawg! Nw jst imagine dawg hw kewl itz gonna snd 2 do off wth all da dmb ol' vwls n shrnk da wrds, 'tz gonna sv lotz of ink dawg, nt 2 mnton da papers 2 wrt on man! Bt den who knws may b v'll 've jst chattng man.. u knw like.. da prof cd jst cht on his m/c n he cd ask his Qs naa n v'd jst type out our Ans out der! No need 2 sit in da dmb brng exm halls maccha!! V r so advncd man, this is whtz being progressive abt in edn dude! Luk @ UK they've dun it da, bt. dum' ol' desis, dey 've no modernity da, they'd rthr jst stck 2 dmb ol' wayz n meanz. M kwl maccha.. if m gonna b da edn mnstr da frst thng 2 do'd b 2 pt sms lingo daa. say wanna cm, ltz go out n frk out maaan... v shld 've da drn pubs open all nite dawg.. v r strssd bg tm maccha.. v shld gt 2 rwnd! Da only kewl wy 2 rlx mst b 2 hng out in da bars n pubs n kewl dwn wid beers n drnks man! Cmn ltz go n prty!!!! </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1159814574396406882006-10-02T13:38:00.000-05:002006-10-02T13:42:54.423-05:00The Language of Our "Times"<div align="justify">After a rather long hibernation (one that wasn't without reason), its time to update this space with some more ramblings. So be cautioned that unless you are interested in something serious, do not venture further, for this ain't gonna be one fun ride this time! </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">ISSUE: The decision by the Karnataka Govt. to withdraw recognition to nearly 1,400 schools which have flouted the directive by the government ordering the medium of instruction in primary schools to be in the mother tongue. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">The history of this problem is not new found. Infact these schools have been flourishing since 12 years inspite of blatantly violating the directives by the government. There are two facets to look into this issue. First of all is the audacity of the management of the schools which procured recognition from the Government under the pretext that they will provide the primary school instruction in Kannada, and secondly the apathy of the Governments that were in power all these years but yet turned a blind eye towards such defaulters. But these are a matter of another discussion. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Times of India that blows its horns as being a "peoples' newspaper"- what with a huge circulation, promptly scandalized the issue making it a front page material and wrote elaborately about the "harmful" decision made by the Education Minister. Not only that, they very meticulously showcased the comments of several students who complained about the injustice being meted out to them, and the importance of English in the global market, and how the decision of the government is detrimental to their futures. What was even more ridiculous was the comments by previous Education ministers who mentioned all the "awarding" actions done under them, and made it a point to mention that, had they been allowed to continue in power, how they would have helped the students. There is no need for any special mention herein as to the underlying motive behind those comments. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Things apart, the rather ironic fact is, "Times of India" that took up verbal arms mocking the decision by the Goverment while at the same time thumping upon the importance of English, has NEVER in my memory, EVER raised its voice about the deteriorating position of Kannada in Bangalore. The sheer hypocrism of this media figure was visible in the way it showcased for the cause of English. The fact that Kannada is becoming a forgotten language in Bangalore, where even kannadigas are shying away from Kannada, is a long established fact. Several years have been passed with a small group of patrons urging the locals constantly to not give up their linguistic identity. But alarmingly enough the deterioration of Kannada has only increased exponentially. Why is it that the TOI group doesn't seem to hear their cries? </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">The sheer commercial nature of this paper is outpouring in its sheets visibly. Can much sense by attributed to this media icon that finds even the boot-dirt of Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan worthy of admiration? Their nauseating boot-licking policies not only leave me aghast and gaping for air, but also infuriated enough to write such hard hitting columns. The most important attribute of a mass media should be one of unbiased, detached, and analytic view of any given situation. TOI fails miserably in this scale. When it comes to glitz, glamour and oomph, it oozes out of its pages and the hollow, materialistic columns that the glossy weekend issues portray. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">Coming back to the talk at hand, while it is absolutely unarguable that the children studying in these schools are being put through unwanted misery, the newspaper flaunted only the administrative mistakes while drawing curtains over the glaring deeds related to the school management's unholy activities, and the concern over the deteriorating local language. They have never failed to take out a procession on the deeds they are doing to give a cosmopolitan image to Bangalore at the cost of destroying the local culture and aura. It is apalling to realize that with such a vast readership, they are capable of meting out deadly blows to the minds of the readers and more so the younger generation. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">The present generation if anything, is losing its ability to think independently. Mass hysteria of imitating foreign behaviors without distinctly understanding the societal and cultural aspects behind them is growing unhindered - thanks to the fueling works of such detrimental mediums. I am hoping for a revolution to happen in the management of the Times Group, one that would remove the scum present currently and bring the worthy to the forefront. The answer for this prayer is but hidden in the depths of time, meanwhile, I guess the bollywood actors and actresses may get a brief respite while my attention is turned towards other forms of media. What Say Thou? </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1158521070625458272006-09-17T14:15:00.000-05:002006-09-17T14:24:30.636-05:00Home.. At Last...Reached Bangalore..on 14th of September in the night (instead of early morning.. thanks to bad weather.. missed flights and delayed flights...). But the thing is.. I am finally home.. will update soon.. till then.. hope you all will share my happiness! Till my further updates.. take care buddies.. and thanks a lot for all your support... mail me if u want to get in touch with me..Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1157587214212987522006-09-06T18:47:00.000-05:002006-09-06T19:00:14.226-05:00It's Only Words...<div align="justify">Today, was a feel good day. I accomplished a few things that I had been planning on from a very long time since. This made me happy, and my heart was light. At that point of time, I was rather more jovial than my usual self, and I was chatting with a friend of mine. In the swing of the moment, when you want to spread that feel goodness to everyone, and make them all a part of your enjoyment and merriment, I tried to tease him. And most unexpectedly the event turned around when he crisply reprimanded me for being too casual in my remarks and reminded me to stay within my limits. Apparently, the closeness that I felt with him, was not the same closeness he felt with me. Needless to say, I felt deeply hurt, and then I felt wronged. I felt that it was unjust on his part of have misread my words, and interpreted it in anyway other than being jovial.. and most certainly they were not meant to demean him in any way. I could not get over the anger and the frustration, and rather kept brooding on it, and the feel goodness that was there moments ago, had all suddenly vanished. I knew that I was letting negative thoughts hamper my day, but yet could not figure out how to curb it. </div><div align="justify">Later that day, while I was driving back home, the record still playing in my mind continuously... I realized something. I recited to myself the prayer of St. Francis, and one particular sentence in that which said.. <em><span style="color:#990000;">to understand rather than be understood</span></em>. I recited that prayer once again, and my heart felt light once more. I recognized that it was my ego that had veiled my eyes. I could not see beyond my hurt feelings. In the new found light, I realized that it is not necessary that everyone feel close to us the same way as we do towards them. Maybe it hurts our ego, but once we get over it, we grow to accept them as they are. And it really doesn't matter that everyone love us the way we love them either! That should not be the scale for giving out our love when they are in need. Maybe he had a hard day, maybe I indeed overstepped my boundaries that he had probably set for me. I may have been oblivious to that, but yet, apparently my words hurt him. </div><div align="justify">I wish there was a way I could undo it, but I can't. I have tried to understand rather than brood over being misunderstood. But yet, my words hurt someone today... it will take me sometime to get over the remorse... </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1157432571775808412006-09-04T18:31:00.000-05:002006-09-06T19:22:33.473-05:00In touch with humanity...<div align="justify">I love to stay in public places. There is something wonderful about being in airports, train stations, malls, shopping complexes and watching the multitudes of humans around us; their faces raft with expressions reflecting the myriad emotions and thoughts running amock in the cosmic field of their minds; each of them being the rulers in their own world; their own concerns; completely oblivious of their minuscule presence in a much larger ecosphere. Its an amazing show playing continuously 24/7, all 365 days, with the actors shifting stages - one in which from a different relative point of view, I too am a part of! </div><div align="justify">It is indeed an experience that I had in one such crowded railway compartment that has prompted me to write after a long sojourn. We call ourselves human isn't it? What more? We are educated humans! Well employed, comfortably settled, and able in various aspects - social, physical, financial, etc etc etc. But then, how often have we truly been "human", "educated", and "civilized"? </div><div align="justify">How many of us have extended a helping hand to a person struggling with luggages? Made a stranger in a place, comfortable? Helped a recluse person in a corner of a party, to feel at ease and mingle with everyone? Education, as such that we have obtained, has only increasingly built barriers between hearts. It has created an unjust inequality. Be it the exploitation of the same by the political parties on the pretext of empowerment of the lower castes (through reservations) or any major degree holder putting down another person with less qualification. The student community in India has finally made its voice and opinion heard regarding the reservation in educational institutions. It is time, that we all also dwelve deep inside us, and take a hard close look at the reservations we harbor in our hearts and minds - of discrimination, of callousness, of negligence, of inhumanity. One need not commit a grave crime to be called a monster. We are all monsters at some point of time. Those moments when we chose to ignore the old person trying hard to cross a street, shut our eyes to the travails of elderly travellers trying to figure their way out in airports or train stations or bus stops, ignored the frail person struggling hard to pull his luggage out of the belt, extended our cold stare to a stranger looking for a smiling face - all of these and much more are instances of our inhumanity, that somehow seems insignificant, and negligible. Are we educated? Are we truly human?</div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1156052491774634342006-08-20T00:11:00.000-05:002006-08-20T00:41:31.803-05:00Surviving the Wild...<div align="justify">Errr... ahem! (Cautiously tip-toes.. looking around... hoping for some readers lurking in the corners. Not finding any.. there is a sense of strange relief and and also disappointment!) Now before you jump into the conclusion that am a refined version of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, lemme assure that my polarity of emotions is just normal and am surprised you guys are not yet used to it. Ok.. so where was I?! Ahh! Now I remember!</div><div align="justify">Had been watchin' Animal Planet. They had a show about 2 cheetahs bred in captivity (their mother having been killed by a lion), which were let out in the wild to survive. It was a very moving documentary that vividly showed the bonding between the two sibling cheetahs and the human being in charge of taking care of them. The documentary captured the moments of their life very impressively - especially the ones where one of the 2 cheetahs helps its brother to overcome the fear of water, the way they learn to hunt for their food, their first kill, and so on. It was the ending that came as a surprise still - one of the two gets killed in the night by a lion. Needless to mention the other cheetah is in immense pain and terror over the loss of its sibling, and the caretaker was already in tears. What really got me thinking was what he said towards the end of the documentary. To summarize his quote, he confesses that maybe it would have been better for the life of these two animals to have just bred them in captivity for their entire life. They would have been safe and sound. But it would have stolen from them the very nature of their being, the wildness and freedom which makes cheetahs mesmerizing creatures. When I turned off the TV, the mind that was struggling hard to get myself to write something, suddenly felt at ease. </div><div align="justify">My mind is being torn apart. I have decided to come back to India, and now a lot of people are continuously calling me and convincing me (even to the point of fighting with me over it) against it. Their argument being that I don't know what would happen out there! The uncertainity of finding a job; and even if I did - whether or not it would pay me well; and even if it did - whether or not I would enjoy the work environment, so on and so forth. The recent turn of events have rather clogged my mind and drained all the ability to think clearly. How does one clear the mind under such circumstances? I am contemplating withdrawal from the civilization! Hehehehe.. now that I know is far fetched. For one, my nature itself doesn't permit me to do it. The moment of solitude that I gather here and there, are spent in silence... as they seem so precious that I do not feel like spoiling it with such dreary thoughts. Frankly speaking it is the uncertainity that is the root cause behind all this. Why is man's life so uncertain afterall? Is it so that he has a purpose to live? What would the cheetah have done if it had known that it would die if it were let out in the wild? Would it choose to live albeit in captivity and forego its nature? Or would it still choose to taste its freedom, however short lived it may have been? </div><div align="justify">What shall I choose, that would keep me dignified in my own eyes? It is my homeland that I am returning to. The wild was the homeland of the cheetah too. It also proved to be its death ground. What is in store for me? I wonder... </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1154524236381799562006-08-02T08:06:00.000-05:002006-08-02T11:56:09.620-05:00Musafir hoon yaaron....<div align="justify"><em><span style="color:#ff0000;">Statutory warning:- Prepare for a long and monotonous soliloquy!! Don't tell me I didn't warn you! </span></em></div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify">I do owe an apology and probably an explanation for my outbreaks and absence all these days. I have debated in my mind a lot whether or not to share the details of all that had happened these days with me. To say that I have been on a roller coaster ride ever since the year has started would literally sum up the mood swings that you have all been witness to! Moments of elation and moments of despair that are so much a part of everyone's life, have been my regular visitors. Much as I have tried to keep my composure maintained during these days, I have oft broken down beyond any comprehension. Guess it doesn't hurt being human at times!</div><div align="justify">My blog has often given you all a glimpse of some portions of my life, albeit with veiled details. In our relationship as an insignificant and yet officious writer and a significant and seemingly interested reader, we have avoided a lot of specifics and going by the same trend, I will still appraise you of what has passed. </div><div align="justify">The year started with a lot of promise only to be devastated. Then came the challenge of graduating, which was not an easy path, what with an unco-operative advisor hell bent on making the situation worse each passing day. Couple that with dwindling confidence and patience and you will pretty much get an idea of how it was. And then came the promise of eventual liberation by my advisor, only to be broken at the last moment - in a bid to avenge for past issues! What that set was a whole new series of war where I had to fight for what I deserved. It did culminate in a victory, but as the days proved, the battle was not yet over. On the day of me ending the 2.5 year long journey, the residue of the past again grew momentously in size and appeared again in front of me - just when I was an inch away from my goal. At that moment the years of efforts, tears and toil that I had shed seemed worthless and ineffective infront of the towering hurdle. I was failing - in my strength, in my conviction, and belief in everything good and worthwhile. I did not want to give up till the last and then again set about mustering the strength to shake the pillars of the university - banging every door till I was heard right at the top level. This new found strength was the result of the well wishes and blessings of so many friends, admirers and companions that I find it exceedingly hard not to choke with tears recalling them all..... hitherto strangers, or acquaintances, stood up to the occassion, friends rallied behind me, and loved ones held me up in my final battle to get my coveted degree. I have now achieved it. </div><div align="justify">At the hind sight I see ruins... of myself. But out of those very ashes like a phoenix, I was reborn each time, my faith in good, and justice being upheld intact. The God, that I have trusted who held out his hand, inspite of my thousand shortcomings... yes... I have grown. There is a quote in the office of my assistant director - Growing old is a must, growing up is optional. I might even add - growing up is painful. I don't know what a pupa undergoes in metamorphosizing into a butterfly. May be it despairs too. The thing that is really scary is the change. I do know that it is exciting! But there is the fear of the unknown. In my case, I feared returning a loser. I feared empty hands that would not testify for my years of patience, and work. I feared the disappointment of my parents. Fear is not a feeling to be harbored in the mind. </div><div align="justify">I live a small life. But I know it is significant to a lot of people around me. There are moments when I have wondered.. what it is that I do? I know that I have lived a rather momentous life thus far; so many events, and happenings that has changed me a lot. But what is it that is guiding all this? What was the whole purpose of something so heavy like a mountain being placed on my back in the first place, and later on being lifted off like a feather?!! Some may say that my faith was being tested.. haven't I been tested enough? I am not complaining.. but am just wondering. Now at a very critical juncture, I stand at crossroads. While the heart wishes to return to India, the intellect advises to stay here and get some experience. It is yet another moment of change. I have made a choice - I am moving to New Jersey to join a new job. A new place, a new set of people, a new set of relationships.. maybe a new set of problems!!! Amidst all this, there is the dream - of home. A place though not devoid of problems of its own, is still mine to keep. I hope I can return soon to the familiar faces and open arms of loved ones. </div><div align="justify">The choices we make define us. Does this choice define me too? How would I be defined if I were to give up all of this, and return back home to make a fresh start? There is a part of me that is tired of this long fight... there is a part of me brazing up for a new expedition. I have often called myself an explorer.. someone who craves a lot of excitement and action and thrill.. and yet here I am, sober and hesitant. But it is time.. I have to move... </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"><blockquote></blockquote><em><span style="font-family:courier new;color:#ff6600;"><strong>Ek raah ruk gayi.. toh aur jud gayi</strong></span></em></div><div align="justify"><em><span style="font-family:courier new;color:#ff6600;"><strong>main muda toh saath saath raah mud gayi</strong></span></em></div><div align="justify"><em><span style="font-family:courier new;color:#ff6600;"><strong>hava ke paron par mera aashiyaana.....</strong></span></em></div><div align="justify"><span style="font-family:courier new;"></span> </div><div align="justify"> </div>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1153945668415489592006-07-26T15:24:00.000-05:002006-07-26T15:27:48.440-05:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3240/820/1600/cry.jpg"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 330px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 236px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" height="228" alt="" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3240/820/320/cry.jpg" width="337" border="0" /></a>Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10545497.post-1153452185291586962006-07-20T20:26:00.000-05:002006-07-20T22:23:05.380-05:00Sitting on a burning pyre,<br />A fire within the mind;<br />What hurts more is hard to say,<br />Where it hurts is hard to find.<br /><br /><blockquote></blockquote>My own ashes piling high,<br />My own dreams burning nigh,<br />Alone in my moments of pain,<br />Lost in ruins, losses are my only gain.Praveenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15290041827875946131noreply@blogger.com6