Saturday, December 10, 2005

Of movies and more..

Ok.. today I went on a rampage in terms of viewing movies. I watched "The Chronicles of Narnia", "House of Wax", and a disgustingly horrible telugu movie "Idiot" (well.. thankfully its aptly titled). While the Chronicles would warrant a very special mention of its own, and a separate blog altogether, I would also not like to group it with the rest of the mentioned insipid and senseless movies.
Ah! the pleasure of criticisms!! I mean, coming to think of it.. there isn't much of a difference between Indian movies and Hollywood movies when it comes to being senseless! Know why? Well, while the movies in India choose to gross out the viewers by having actors like Ravi Teja, Meghana Naidu (wow.. both of them together in a movie.. would probably be the most horrifying movie ever made!! Eeeks!! am already getting nightmares!!), Himanshooo, and the likes; Hollywood has its own refined way of grossing us out with their idea of "horror".
Gone are the days when they used to make classic horrors that sent the creeps down one's spine! Exorcist, Poltergeist, Omen, The Ring, and such other movies had given me sleepless nights! (The most embarassing thing was to go to the rest room during nights by waking up others or making loud noises.. or switching every damn light in the way! Well for one, the demon would have known for sure where I was heading for, and what exactly would have been the purpose. Now that I have matured enough, I know that all I need to do to scare the shit out of it is to put on Ravi teja's movie.. and bingo, the devil is runnin' for its life! Or better still, prance around like Mithun in "Classic").
Coming back to tackling Hollywood, it has degenerated horror into psychopathic killings, gross murders, and a lot of shrieking by the females!! There are quite a lot of things that actually baffle me when I watch Hollywood movies! For instance..
  • Why does the killer strike in moments of intimacy? (My understanding would be that the depravation of physical proximity has made him highly caustic towards such behavior, and he is hell bent on denying anybody the pleasure of it, including the viewers for that matter!! Oh! you guyz, don't squirm.. after all there isn't anything else that is worth watching in such movies!!)
  • For heaven's sakes, won't someone knock some sense into the feminine species!! In majority of the movies, it is always the female leads who put the life of the entire platoon in jeopardy with their stupid tantrums, and emotions!! Well.. one can't really expect much from blondes.. can they?
  • And for the last time.. DO NOT GO AROUND ALONE IN A LONELY HOUSE FAR AWAY FROM CIVILIZATION CROONING LIKE A CONSTIPATED CAT!! "Helllooooo... anybody there? Here I am.. dressed in as less clothes as possible.. and walking around waiting to be hunted down.. hey you killeeeeeerrrr... where are u... come and get meeee... aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh" *rolling the eyes* Well duh!!
  • And whenever they are walking backwards, you can always expect a shock! Most of the times, its their overly active partners, trying to joke around scaring the hell out of their girlfriends whose shrieks only end up giving us a headache!

Well, but seriously no horror can get better of the movies churned out by the good ol' "Tollywood" (hehehehe.. funny name.. ain't it?) It is hard for me to decide which is worse! Watch Raviteja in "Idiot" or walk around with a toilet paper stuck in the place-that-must-not-be-named. Well, the latter atleast can be gotten rid of instantly! But the former is like that stinking piece of sock that spreads its stench all over the house and lingers on for days to come! Am I exaggerating? I don't feel so!

Personally, when I watch a movie, I look for a wholesome entertainment! Humor is my panache! But one would certainly want to feel like an intelligent viewer and certainly would love to be treated as one! Nowww.. wait a minute.. did I just see someone pass by me.. or was it an illusion.... I see the remote is moving all by itself..... it has turned on the TV... whoz that... its Meghana Naidu.. in a Kannada movie!!!!! AAAAAAAAAahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

PS:- Surprisingly enough, Meghana Naidu has acted in a Godforsaken Kannada movie "Kattegalu saar Kattegalu" .. need I say more about the movie?!! :P

2 comments:

Chandan V said...

U r right there. Its very difficult to find good horror movies this days or mabbee we are immuned to horror. In btwn If u have'nt watched SAW-1, I suggest u that movie. Though the movie gross u out at times its one among my favorite suspense movie i hav seen in recent times. I bet u'ld like the movie. I suggest u to watch SAW-1 without any breaks concentrating on dialouges.

Chandan V said...

Well one more thing. Nice to see ur pic in your profile