Dushman na kare......

Its early in the morning... its been 2 days now and am disturbed. It is an unnerving experience as if you have just been burgled!! And the culprit is someone you had least expected to do something like this. Yes, we are all accustomed to thinking that strangers are more akin to rob us. But when the ones you consider close to you, or thought would be close, turn out to be total strangers, it is a nerve wrecking experience, and to top it, to have the feeling of being betrayed stuffed down your throat only worsens the situation. We are all just "somebody" to everyone else, I guess! Unfortunately that includes some people who aren't "somebody" for us!

It really hurts - That the person who you don't think to be "somebody" for you, thinks that you are "just somebody"! Karma? Human psychology? I'm playing the song - "Dushman na kare.." in a repetitive mode. I have no other song that can better touch my mood right now. Am I letting it worsen, or do I actually want to get over it? God as my witness, I really do want to get over this! I want to forget everything that happened, and just move on! But its so much easier said than done! I've often times emphasized to so many that one has to forgive and forget to achieve the peace of mind. But yet, today that seems like the hardest thing for me to do. Not forgiving, but forgetting all that happened. "pehle toh hosh cheen liye zulm-o-sitam se, deewangi ka phir hamein ilzaam diya hai"

Gladly enough I haven't shed tears for all that has happened. LOL! I am not smiling that it happened either! But the pain is killing! The hurt is deep, and closed wounds somehow have opened up again! I am vulnerable afterall!! "na khuda ka hum ne jinhe naam diya hai.... umr bhar ka gam hamein inaam diya hai..." Gawd!! I just wish I could wake up in the morning and find out that all of this was just a bad, terrible, and hopeless dream! There is a growing numbness in my heart... cold and deathly.... and am gasping for breathe... there was a hand that seemed as if it was ready to clasp me and pull me aboard... only then did I realize that it was the hand that actually overthrew me into the cold currents that are lapping me up into their bosoms...............and am too shocked to even scream.........

Confusious Thinks......

Lots of Ranting coming up!! So run for covers!


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1. What is so hard about expectations?! What we have of others... or of what others have of us?!


2. How do you truly know what you want?! I know people say all about feeling.. intuition.. gut feeling.. blah blah blah blah... but has anyone ever really experienced it? Before you ever set out on something, has anyone felt that this is IT! The ONE magical thing that he/she has been waiting for?!


3. It is true that one has to be truthful for oneself. But which self is one to be truthful for? Its easy to say that there is only one 'self' but how many of us really have only one 'self'?!


4. There is 'self' for the family, there is a 'self' for the society, there is a 'self' for your friends... does one get to pick and choose which one of these is "MY SELF?" Or if I were to choose something totally different of all of these, and call that as "MYSELF".. will the society, the family, my friends accept it? So eventually.. what am I to them? An identity defined by the masks they prefer to see me in? Or does it even matter.......?!!


5. Why is it so tough to let go of the desire to Control?! Relations, people, circumstances, we are forever striving to exercise control over everything around us! There is a thrill in letting go too! Maybe we'd end up with having something in our hands that we don't like or we don't want.. but is Life all about getting everything that we want?!!
6. It'd be so easy for me sometimes, if I'd be left to my own, but world seldom does that! Everyone has expectations that are expected to be met. I dunno what is so hard.. the expectations I have of others.. or what others have of me..................

Mamma Mia! - Much Ado about....

Please Note:- Spoilers ahead! (T)read carefully!! (Not that it really matters ya know! ;))

3 middle age ... well not really, rather...... post middle age women, and 3 similar men, a young couple who believe that they are the wonderland Atlantians prancing around in a Greek Land and a whole cohort of similar Greeks! Add to this concoction a whole range of ABBA numbers from their famous musicals and pronto - you've got MAMMA MIA! So what went wrong with it? Just one small fact that the movie has come nearly a decade or two late! And that is only the beginning!

ABBA has been my favorite music band ever since childhood. Growing up listening to "Dancing Queen", "Chiquitita", "SOS", and craving for "Money Money Money" has become such an integral part of my identification with my childhood. So when Universal Studios teamed up with couple of other productions and came up with the idea to bring their world-famous musical to screen, with a conglomeration of Producers which has Tom Hanks (My Favorite) in them too and a star cast that includes the fabulous Meryl Streep (Another of my top favorites) in the lead, that was too awesome for me to resist! Eagerly had I waited for it to hit the screens. Nagging reviews not withstanding, I rushed forth and sure enough obtained my share of disappointments. Comeon Hollywood!! Even a Bollywood dishout wouldn't have been so! (Or then again....maybe they'd have screwed it up even worse!) Sigh!

Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is about to get married to her boyfriend (Dominic Cooper). But she has a long standing dream of hers to have her father give her away. The problem with this? She doesn't know who her father is! Momma Donna (Meryl Streep..as sweet as ever) apparently was rather playful one spring!! But the snoopy lil creatures that teenage girls usually are, she discovers that there are 3 possible men who could've fathered her, and so sends out letters to all three inviting them for her wedding. Whatever happened to decency, I wonder?!! And sure enough the 3 males land in the island of Kalokairi - Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgard and Colin Firth! Along with them land the girls of Sophie and Donna! You have to see to believe their team cheer! Well what follows along is a typical chick-fare replete with songs, yells, shrill cries, and the usual 'girl moments' (whatever that is supposed to be) talking about true love!!! errrrm.....yeah in case u didn't know Kalokairi is the place where anyone who wants true love should go and drink water from!! (Now u tell me!! After spending a decade looking for one! Sheesh!! Why is it that I always come to know it when I have outgrown it!). Like they say the best (or in this case the worst) was indeed saved for the last! I had a is-this-really-happening look on my face for when the movie ends (or so we think) we have the lead casts strutting back on screen in pink bell bottoms and hay-wire attires singing "Waterloo" and "Dancing Queen" once again!

In all fairness to the movie, you can really feel the vibe amongst the actors! I mean, comeon guys (and gals) its ABBA music we are talking about! Who wouldn't wanna dance and tap their feet to them! But err... you know... all said and done, to watch oldie Julie Waters and Christine Baranski cracking slapstick jokes about nights with men and sticking protrusions in btw their pants... errrr... its just not what I'm built up to watch! Sure the songs have been tweaked around.. "Does your mother know" isn't about a girl but a guy here hitting on Christine Baranski! To have the leads and the characters sing out the numbers was probably the biggest disappointment! At this age, well, they really cannot do justice for the zest and vigor that the numbers of ABBA call for!

Meryl Streep is as fresh and full of life as ever! Here is one talented actress who can bring down a whole legion of actresses to their feet in front of her! The diva as always! Some numbers rendered by her is quite good! Though sometimes, in some numbers such as Mamma Mia she does seem a lil over-doing it... but she does eventually add her own charm into the whole movie! She's the only reason I went ahead and bought the VCD. Julie Waters is absolutely forgettable (she gets to sing Take a chance on me) and Christine Baranski did a passable job on "Does your mother you". The crew could've certainly done a better job in covering the island's beauty. A movie completely shot on a Greek island had totally raised my expectations on the camera work. But it was majorly focussed on the wedding cast.. than the wedding place.

Well all said and done, I can't deny one thing. I was all smiles throughout the movie. And no not because of the way it was, but having realized that the movie wasn't really worth paying attention to, my mind had already drifted back to the days of the yore - when wearing shorts was something that nobody really cared about! Well.. if you are as die-hard fan of ABBA and Meryl Streep as I am.... guess it wouldn't hurt to watch this movie! :)

And before I leave.. buddies.. take care of one more thing.. no matter of expensive it may be.... buy a DVD or VCD that is not BIG Home Video in the make. Watching the movie on the Reliance made VCD is a pain! oh yeah! BIG Home Video --> you suck! Please don't produce movie VCDs! Thank you!

Overall Rating: 3.0/5.0

Aaaam....coming up!

So you better get this party started!!!

And why would it be any different this time around you ask?! Well... yeah I know! I've been that elusive guy who never kept his promises! But then, love is blind! Or so I'd like to believe! ;) But then more practically speaking, this time is a bit different because, I've finally managed to get a net connection at home! Not that its absence was the only reason for me not having to post.. mind you! But well, atleast something to cover me up. I'll say! :)

A few updates from my end!

I am no more in Coimbatore! The journey has moved on to a new destination. I am now in Chennai!! Sigh... the nomadic existence just doesn't seem to let go of me! And I have turned a new leaf! Mostly I used to blog in my corporate blog space, but then I've always loved the anonymity on the big WWW! So here i am back, with my rants, my happiness and my nothings! How many of my old crowd is still around, its tough to say. Maybe there shall be some new ones coming around too? Well thatz for time to show, but for now... I am back! And I shall be writing... :)

Nomadic Musings!!

And so, here I am back on the turf that I had long seized playing on. The grasses have grown tall, weeds in between too, and am not so sure, if I can wield the bat as well as I used to! Chandan, had written earlier in one of this blogs (studying the nature of bloggers and their blogs) that a blog reflects the state of mind a blogger is in. Given the inactivity of my space for such a long time, I wonder what it can be classified as. Thankfully no one wrote me off as being wiped away!! What was even more heartening was that people wrote to me personally asking me the reason for my absence from the blogging world, and imploring me, threatening me, coaxing me nicely to get back to the writing mode.

Much like my blog, even I have not been having a feeling of having ever settled down. If my blog were to have feelings, I guess it’d wonder why there is no routine in its life! Regular posts, comments from the endearing readers, feedbacks, regular make-over!! Nothing at all!!! Likewise, I do not have a settled feeling yet! I still am a Nomad. I guess there is a part of me that enjoys this nomadic existence. One has to give credit to the freedom of existence that this life assures of. And believe me, I do treasure it! Work – professional and personal has kept me rather occupied. The excuse may seem as lame to you too, as it does to me, or even more! But believe me, the writer in me, had probably taken a sabbatical for a few months. During which period, I may even be accused of indulging in frivolous living, as I had taken to writing elsewhere, rather than in my personal blog-space!! (Ah! The nerve of me!!)

Writer’s block is a classic excuse for many out here for the continued absence. I would like to be counted amongst them too! It isn’t that I could not have keyed some words in…. but rather that I never felt like. It’s like coming back to meet a good ol’ friend of the yore, and there is an urge to share so many things with him, but one never does! One just waits for another time. I guess one way to overcome this is to just sit down, and start typing. That is what I am doing now, as I am on my way to Bangalore. Rustic landscapes, beautiful hills draped in green, large expanse of paddy fields with lakes and ponds interspersed. Who wouldn’t feel like sharing a few thoughts across? Those who care to listen will continue to read, and those who don’t, will shut the browser and move on. Life continues…..

Crawlers and Creepers!!

Well Well.. after a very very laaang time.. I am back into the blogging foray!! Missed u all chums.. dearies!! Trust me! I did!! So well.. here is something to start us all with... but before u embark...

Statutory Warnings:

1. No this has nothing to do with preeetttty preettty flowers or plants!
2. The first person am gonna hear “hee-hee-haw-hawing” shall find the vertical protrusions in the frontal lobe of their skull strategically displaced and dispersed in a vast area following random distribution. (Pauses solemnly allowing the idea to sink……. )


Why did God have to make cockroaches?! I cannot fathom of one sensible reason, as to what wonderful purpose they serve in this cosmos, that made the existence of these frankensteins absolutely necessary!! Well… I don’t wanna say am scared of ‘em (yeah! like that is really gonna sound so convincing! And I so much can hear my room mates sniggering to themselves.. didn’t they read the warning messages up there?!! Hmmphhff) But frankly the very thought of theirs is sufficient enough to make the hairs stand upright and send a chill down my spine. There is absolutely something very hideous about the structure of the cockroach. It could either be its long antenne groping around and feeling (I have a conviction that they actually are fear sensors), or those oooh-so-yucky looking eyes that can give Payal Rohatgi a run for her money (but still can’t beat He-man-shoo Malik’s acting prowess!! Yeah! I so much was waiting to say that!! Phew! Glad I got that out of my chest!). And those legs lined up with the prickly protrusions that have absolutely convinced me that the cockroaches are the godzillas of the pest world! Not to mention some of who have the exemplary powers of actually taking to flight, and send me on a marathon race all around the room, trying to dodge, screaming at the top of my voice much to the amusement of my absolutely enchanted room mates.
Under what extreme frustration did God conceive of this creature? Did he himself throw-up in disgust after that was completed? Questions galore! I still remember, that the only thing that’d get me shut my mouth and sit and study during my childhood was this darn creepy villain, whom my uncle would playfully catch and hover all around me (sweating profusely in all the wrong places!!!) till I’d take the book and get my **** down on the floor to read. *sigh There were times when he’d drop a dead one on me, and watch what was a fairly good impression of Michael Jackie-gone-loonie-with-masai-tribes-of-Africa dance, and even video shoot the entire scenario, which I bet he is planning to show my future kids (which is another reason I have decided to abstain from marriage! ).
To add shame to insult, even the education department of Karnataka is hands in glove with my uncle, and that explains why they’d want an absolutely non-violent guy like me (who immediately engages in a swift maneuvor of defence called “The Hare exit” whenever a cockroach were to enter my vicinity) to dissect an entire cockroach! On that fateful, much as I tried to escape (and am not gonna tell u all suckers what all I did! So there.. yaaaahhh), did eventually end up on the dissection table. The attendant brought a jar full of that-which-has-been-named-all-over-this-blogpost. And picked out one of it, and laid it infront of me. “Do not worry pa! This is dead..hehehehehe” I stared at it for a very long time, trying to find an inkling of life in the body structure, and after summoning nearly three thousand of the three crore Gods, I picked up the forceps to pick it up to pin it down on the board. And just as I touched it, one of the legs slightly quivered…… the next thing I know was of me, knife in hand, ala Rekha (hmmm.. can’t I think of another better example.. hmmm..uhhhh) in “Phool bane angaare” pounding on it madly, almost in a fit, till what lay before me couldn’t even remotely be related to an organism. The fact that my college friends still have stomach aches, when they think of it, is something that we shall very carefully draw curtains on.
To think that my stay in USA would have been devoid of their existence was a mirage. But one thing I was convinced of, is that anyday the Indian cockroaches(Blaberus giganteus) could give the American brethren a run of their money! I’ll tell you, these silly dumb periplanetus Americanas shall run helter and skelter if they’d see their Asian brethrens! They are so tiny, that am almost convinced that they don’t even wait to grow up, and all already generating their offsprings. Now these are the one entities I found absolutely unthreatening, and would get back at them with a vengeance unparalleled, a macho that I was! Before long, the phantom’s revenge was lying in wait for me! Right on the day I moved into the new rented house in Coimbatore, that night horror of horrors, not less than 30 cockroaches were holding a round sink tube conference sinisterly planning on evacuating us from their strong hold. Not to be undone, I, with a great courage and high valor summoned upon my room mates, handing each of them with brooms, boots and the good ol’ HIT! Safely posting myself on the kitchen pedestal, I just stopped short of doing a cheer group act, as they ran behind the members of the conference, exterminating them! Uhahahahahaha - Mogambo Khush hua!
Well, all said and done, I still have not been able to figure out just why they had to exist in my life!! So far, no girl has ever run into my arms, having been chased by a cockroach, and I repeat, that has nothing to do with me running much ahead of her! Equally confusing is the fact that a few of my Asian brethren somehow seem to fancy them to satisfy their appetite! I’d like to have a thorough examination of the mental status of the first person who viewed a cockroach, and exclaimed “Now there’s something that looks tasty to eat!” ugggghhhhhhh…. So let’s lay that option also to rest. But then, for a creature that is known to survive even a nuclear holocaust, all it takes is a stick broom, or a hawaii chappal to have its innards spilled out. But that is something that I have very sportively left for my roomies to do! As for me, its time I scoot….

Parting stunt:- When in America, refrain from using the word - Cockroaches, they are called only “roaches” over there, the reason, is something that we shall refrain from sharing with the mass for purely aesthetic reasons.

Regardant de retour

3 long months... I even missed the 2nd year Burrday celebrations of my blogspace! My reader community has been disappointed with me... and I don't know if what I may say, will be construed as an excuse! But I am offering none! So what was so worthwhile that kept me away from blogging?!

Going by the past postings, if one were to feel that it was the job hunt, I would have to say, with all sincerity, "NO"! I knew I will get a job, a good one at that, but there was a lot more that I felt that needs to be done. And to give form to my ambition, my aunt landed in India. And that was how my work for the Comprehensive Stroke Management Center, started by my aunt in Bangalore, began. The responsibilities vested on me were multiferous, and educative. Not only was it an enriching experience, it was truly humbling. To serve mankind, and to connect to them at a spiritual level, realizing the oneness of the self with the universe, and through this, the true divinity vested inside us all - that is the essence of human life! And that is the path, that I have set out on.

And then again, the mundane affairs that still tie one down! A laptop that served faithfully for 3 years is finally in the ICU, requiring a critical IC transplant, that has to happen for it to survive. The Tech-docs say that even if the donor IC is available, the transplant itself is a very delicate procedure, and one can only hope for a success! "Hum poori koshish karenge, baaki sab Uparvaale ke haath mein hai"..... Cut!

Scene change... at the door steps of a temple... "tum ne meri DVDs mujhse cheen li... maine kuch nahin kaha... mere VCDs ko barbaad kar diye, main chup raha... uff na kiya.. sab kuch sehta raha... kabhie tum se kuch nahin maanga! Lekin aaj! AAAAJ! main chup nahin rahoonga! mujhe mera laptop lauta de.. bhagwan! mujhe mera laptop lauta de... " bells ringing.... chambels sounding all over...

Voice from the sky: Bete... abhi tere laptop theek hone mein thodi der lagegi..tab tak.. tum desktop use karo!

Me: thank you bhagwan.. thank you....

********* EXIT SINGING ALA HIMMESH RESHAMMIAH**********

And that done... now for the grand finale.... I got a job in Cognizant Technology Solutions.. yippeee.. hurray... wowza.... and all that later... the flip side is.. I will be moving to Coimbatore! And that is going to happen on Friday. Somehow, my life seems to have more dynamism, than I estimated. And so.. here I am signing off for another few days... on my way to a new adventure.. a new journey... a new path to be set!