Sunday, September 17, 2006
Reached Bangalore..on 14th of September in the night (instead of early morning.. thanks to bad weather.. missed flights and delayed flights...). But the thing is.. I am finally home.. will update soon.. till then.. hope you all will share my happiness! Till my further updates.. take care buddies.. and thanks a lot for all your support... mail me if u want to get in touch with me..
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Today, was a feel good day. I accomplished a few things that I had been planning on from a very long time since. This made me happy, and my heart was light. At that point of time, I was rather more jovial than my usual self, and I was chatting with a friend of mine. In the swing of the moment, when you want to spread that feel goodness to everyone, and make them all a part of your enjoyment and merriment, I tried to tease him. And most unexpectedly the event turned around when he crisply reprimanded me for being too casual in my remarks and reminded me to stay within my limits. Apparently, the closeness that I felt with him, was not the same closeness he felt with me. Needless to say, I felt deeply hurt, and then I felt wronged. I felt that it was unjust on his part of have misread my words, and interpreted it in anyway other than being jovial.. and most certainly they were not meant to demean him in any way. I could not get over the anger and the frustration, and rather kept brooding on it, and the feel goodness that was there moments ago, had all suddenly vanished. I knew that I was letting negative thoughts hamper my day, but yet could not figure out how to curb it.
Later that day, while I was driving back home, the record still playing in my mind continuously... I realized something. I recited to myself the prayer of St. Francis, and one particular sentence in that which said.. to understand rather than be understood. I recited that prayer once again, and my heart felt light once more. I recognized that it was my ego that had veiled my eyes. I could not see beyond my hurt feelings. In the new found light, I realized that it is not necessary that everyone feel close to us the same way as we do towards them. Maybe it hurts our ego, but once we get over it, we grow to accept them as they are. And it really doesn't matter that everyone love us the way we love them either! That should not be the scale for giving out our love when they are in need. Maybe he had a hard day, maybe I indeed overstepped my boundaries that he had probably set for me. I may have been oblivious to that, but yet, apparently my words hurt him.
I wish there was a way I could undo it, but I can't. I have tried to understand rather than brood over being misunderstood. But yet, my words hurt someone today... it will take me sometime to get over the remorse...
Monday, September 04, 2006
I love to stay in public places. There is something wonderful about being in airports, train stations, malls, shopping complexes and watching the multitudes of humans around us; their faces raft with expressions reflecting the myriad emotions and thoughts running amock in the cosmic field of their minds; each of them being the rulers in their own world; their own concerns; completely oblivious of their minuscule presence in a much larger ecosphere. Its an amazing show playing continuously 24/7, all 365 days, with the actors shifting stages - one in which from a different relative point of view, I too am a part of!
It is indeed an experience that I had in one such crowded railway compartment that has prompted me to write after a long sojourn. We call ourselves human isn't it? What more? We are educated humans! Well employed, comfortably settled, and able in various aspects - social, physical, financial, etc etc etc. But then, how often have we truly been "human", "educated", and "civilized"?
How many of us have extended a helping hand to a person struggling with luggages? Made a stranger in a place, comfortable? Helped a recluse person in a corner of a party, to feel at ease and mingle with everyone? Education, as such that we have obtained, has only increasingly built barriers between hearts. It has created an unjust inequality. Be it the exploitation of the same by the political parties on the pretext of empowerment of the lower castes (through reservations) or any major degree holder putting down another person with less qualification. The student community in India has finally made its voice and opinion heard regarding the reservation in educational institutions. It is time, that we all also dwelve deep inside us, and take a hard close look at the reservations we harbor in our hearts and minds - of discrimination, of callousness, of negligence, of inhumanity. One need not commit a grave crime to be called a monster. We are all monsters at some point of time. Those moments when we chose to ignore the old person trying hard to cross a street, shut our eyes to the travails of elderly travellers trying to figure their way out in airports or train stations or bus stops, ignored the frail person struggling hard to pull his luggage out of the belt, extended our cold stare to a stranger looking for a smiling face - all of these and much more are instances of our inhumanity, that somehow seems insignificant, and negligible. Are we educated? Are we truly human?