Hum bhi agar bachhe hote...

Had a bad night. Unwanted, unwarranted, misleading and misunderstood argument with a friend, hurtful words, unintended meanings stifling the air around me! Nearly sleepless night.... grubby morning, cloudy weather, Monday!
Made a fake cheery presence to my mom, and headed towards the auto stand... 3 buses full of kids, probably on their way to a picnic pull over near the traffic signal, and out of nowhere, the whole bunch of kids lined up near the windows called out and a medley of "TaTa!!" "Good Morning", "Anna!! Hiiiiiii" rang out! And suddenly it all seemed okie. :)

Why is it so tough for us to be child like? Simple... uncomplicated... and contended?

After a While...

Received this poem as a comment from Sushma.... was so good that I didn't think it was fair to leave it in the comments section so moving it as a post.

I know it has feminine overtones to it.. but I strongly feel it transgresses the genders...



After a While

After a while
you learn
The subtle difference between
Holding a hand and chaining a soul
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't always mean security.


And you begin to learn
That kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and your eyes ahead
With the grace of a woman
Not the grief of a child


And you learn
To build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is
Too uncertain for plans
And futures have a way
Of falling down in mid flight

After a while you learn
That even sunshine burns if you get too much
So you plant your own garden
And decorate your own soul
Instead of waiting
For someone to bring you flowers


And you learn
That you really can endure
That you are really strong
And you really do have worth
And you learn and you learn
With every good bye you learn.



By,
Veronica A. Shoffstall

You are Framed!!

One of the most horrible crimes we can commit in a relationship is to frame people! Limit their scope, actions and responses into a framework and expect the magnanimous human personality with its countless manifestations and attributes to fit into that framework. We did the same to God, we do the same to human beings (or is it vice versa?!!)! And we wonder why relationships don't work or seem so complicated!!! Sigh....

Mr. Hyde......

Got into the Bus 333T (Volvo) near my office. There was a pleasant Kannada station playing on the radio. There were 2 girls from North (very coincidental... I hold nothing against them.. just their attitudes. Read on) started acting smart... passing ridiculous comments.. and making stupid remarks.. with their usual gusto! To top it off.. they started playing some stupid pop numbers on their laptop in full volume.

Couldn't tolerate it.. mouthed off.. and before getting down... called them B*******! I know I lost my cool.. I also know that I wanted to lose it.

Dushman na kare......

Its early in the morning... its been 2 days now and am disturbed. It is an unnerving experience as if you have just been burgled!! And the culprit is someone you had least expected to do something like this. Yes, we are all accustomed to thinking that strangers are more akin to rob us. But when the ones you consider close to you, or thought would be close, turn out to be total strangers, it is a nerve wrecking experience, and to top it, to have the feeling of being betrayed stuffed down your throat only worsens the situation. We are all just "somebody" to everyone else, I guess! Unfortunately that includes some people who aren't "somebody" for us!

It really hurts - That the person who you don't think to be "somebody" for you, thinks that you are "just somebody"! Karma? Human psychology? I'm playing the song - "Dushman na kare.." in a repetitive mode. I have no other song that can better touch my mood right now. Am I letting it worsen, or do I actually want to get over it? God as my witness, I really do want to get over this! I want to forget everything that happened, and just move on! But its so much easier said than done! I've often times emphasized to so many that one has to forgive and forget to achieve the peace of mind. But yet, today that seems like the hardest thing for me to do. Not forgiving, but forgetting all that happened. "pehle toh hosh cheen liye zulm-o-sitam se, deewangi ka phir hamein ilzaam diya hai"

Gladly enough I haven't shed tears for all that has happened. LOL! I am not smiling that it happened either! But the pain is killing! The hurt is deep, and closed wounds somehow have opened up again! I am vulnerable afterall!! "na khuda ka hum ne jinhe naam diya hai.... umr bhar ka gam hamein inaam diya hai..." Gawd!! I just wish I could wake up in the morning and find out that all of this was just a bad, terrible, and hopeless dream! There is a growing numbness in my heart... cold and deathly.... and am gasping for breathe... there was a hand that seemed as if it was ready to clasp me and pull me aboard... only then did I realize that it was the hand that actually overthrew me into the cold currents that are lapping me up into their bosoms...............and am too shocked to even scream.........

Confusious Thinks......

Lots of Ranting coming up!! So run for covers!


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1. What is so hard about expectations?! What we have of others... or of what others have of us?!


2. How do you truly know what you want?! I know people say all about feeling.. intuition.. gut feeling.. blah blah blah blah... but has anyone ever really experienced it? Before you ever set out on something, has anyone felt that this is IT! The ONE magical thing that he/she has been waiting for?!


3. It is true that one has to be truthful for oneself. But which self is one to be truthful for? Its easy to say that there is only one 'self' but how many of us really have only one 'self'?!


4. There is 'self' for the family, there is a 'self' for the society, there is a 'self' for your friends... does one get to pick and choose which one of these is "MY SELF?" Or if I were to choose something totally different of all of these, and call that as "MYSELF".. will the society, the family, my friends accept it? So eventually.. what am I to them? An identity defined by the masks they prefer to see me in? Or does it even matter.......?!!


5. Why is it so tough to let go of the desire to Control?! Relations, people, circumstances, we are forever striving to exercise control over everything around us! There is a thrill in letting go too! Maybe we'd end up with having something in our hands that we don't like or we don't want.. but is Life all about getting everything that we want?!!
6. It'd be so easy for me sometimes, if I'd be left to my own, but world seldom does that! Everyone has expectations that are expected to be met. I dunno what is so hard.. the expectations I have of others.. or what others have of me..................

Mamma Mia! - Much Ado about....

Please Note:- Spoilers ahead! (T)read carefully!! (Not that it really matters ya know! ;))

3 middle age ... well not really, rather...... post middle age women, and 3 similar men, a young couple who believe that they are the wonderland Atlantians prancing around in a Greek Land and a whole cohort of similar Greeks! Add to this concoction a whole range of ABBA numbers from their famous musicals and pronto - you've got MAMMA MIA! So what went wrong with it? Just one small fact that the movie has come nearly a decade or two late! And that is only the beginning!

ABBA has been my favorite music band ever since childhood. Growing up listening to "Dancing Queen", "Chiquitita", "SOS", and craving for "Money Money Money" has become such an integral part of my identification with my childhood. So when Universal Studios teamed up with couple of other productions and came up with the idea to bring their world-famous musical to screen, with a conglomeration of Producers which has Tom Hanks (My Favorite) in them too and a star cast that includes the fabulous Meryl Streep (Another of my top favorites) in the lead, that was too awesome for me to resist! Eagerly had I waited for it to hit the screens. Nagging reviews not withstanding, I rushed forth and sure enough obtained my share of disappointments. Comeon Hollywood!! Even a Bollywood dishout wouldn't have been so! (Or then again....maybe they'd have screwed it up even worse!) Sigh!

Sophie (Amanda Seyfried) is about to get married to her boyfriend (Dominic Cooper). But she has a long standing dream of hers to have her father give her away. The problem with this? She doesn't know who her father is! Momma Donna (Meryl Streep..as sweet as ever) apparently was rather playful one spring!! But the snoopy lil creatures that teenage girls usually are, she discovers that there are 3 possible men who could've fathered her, and so sends out letters to all three inviting them for her wedding. Whatever happened to decency, I wonder?!! And sure enough the 3 males land in the island of Kalokairi - Pierce Brosnan, Stellan Skarsgard and Colin Firth! Along with them land the girls of Sophie and Donna! You have to see to believe their team cheer! Well what follows along is a typical chick-fare replete with songs, yells, shrill cries, and the usual 'girl moments' (whatever that is supposed to be) talking about true love!!! errrrm.....yeah in case u didn't know Kalokairi is the place where anyone who wants true love should go and drink water from!! (Now u tell me!! After spending a decade looking for one! Sheesh!! Why is it that I always come to know it when I have outgrown it!). Like they say the best (or in this case the worst) was indeed saved for the last! I had a is-this-really-happening look on my face for when the movie ends (or so we think) we have the lead casts strutting back on screen in pink bell bottoms and hay-wire attires singing "Waterloo" and "Dancing Queen" once again!

In all fairness to the movie, you can really feel the vibe amongst the actors! I mean, comeon guys (and gals) its ABBA music we are talking about! Who wouldn't wanna dance and tap their feet to them! But err... you know... all said and done, to watch oldie Julie Waters and Christine Baranski cracking slapstick jokes about nights with men and sticking protrusions in btw their pants... errrr... its just not what I'm built up to watch! Sure the songs have been tweaked around.. "Does your mother know" isn't about a girl but a guy here hitting on Christine Baranski! To have the leads and the characters sing out the numbers was probably the biggest disappointment! At this age, well, they really cannot do justice for the zest and vigor that the numbers of ABBA call for!

Meryl Streep is as fresh and full of life as ever! Here is one talented actress who can bring down a whole legion of actresses to their feet in front of her! The diva as always! Some numbers rendered by her is quite good! Though sometimes, in some numbers such as Mamma Mia she does seem a lil over-doing it... but she does eventually add her own charm into the whole movie! She's the only reason I went ahead and bought the VCD. Julie Waters is absolutely forgettable (she gets to sing Take a chance on me) and Christine Baranski did a passable job on "Does your mother you". The crew could've certainly done a better job in covering the island's beauty. A movie completely shot on a Greek island had totally raised my expectations on the camera work. But it was majorly focussed on the wedding cast.. than the wedding place.

Well all said and done, I can't deny one thing. I was all smiles throughout the movie. And no not because of the way it was, but having realized that the movie wasn't really worth paying attention to, my mind had already drifted back to the days of the yore - when wearing shorts was something that nobody really cared about! Well.. if you are as die-hard fan of ABBA and Meryl Streep as I am.... guess it wouldn't hurt to watch this movie! :)

And before I leave.. buddies.. take care of one more thing.. no matter of expensive it may be.... buy a DVD or VCD that is not BIG Home Video in the make. Watching the movie on the Reliance made VCD is a pain! oh yeah! BIG Home Video --> you suck! Please don't produce movie VCDs! Thank you!

Overall Rating: 3.0/5.0

Aaaam....coming up!

So you better get this party started!!!

And why would it be any different this time around you ask?! Well... yeah I know! I've been that elusive guy who never kept his promises! But then, love is blind! Or so I'd like to believe! ;) But then more practically speaking, this time is a bit different because, I've finally managed to get a net connection at home! Not that its absence was the only reason for me not having to post.. mind you! But well, atleast something to cover me up. I'll say! :)

A few updates from my end!

I am no more in Coimbatore! The journey has moved on to a new destination. I am now in Chennai!! Sigh... the nomadic existence just doesn't seem to let go of me! And I have turned a new leaf! Mostly I used to blog in my corporate blog space, but then I've always loved the anonymity on the big WWW! So here i am back, with my rants, my happiness and my nothings! How many of my old crowd is still around, its tough to say. Maybe there shall be some new ones coming around too? Well thatz for time to show, but for now... I am back! And I shall be writing... :)