To Do or Not To Do!

Girlssss!!! Even as I am writing this blog, my mind is in a h(m)aze! Why are they so enigmatic and mysterious?! I mean, I have spoken to so many of 'em, I still speak to so many of 'em... and yet am not able to decipher them!

Jokes apart, can one really know when to talk and when not to talk?! It becomes all the more confusing when one is chatting(on the internet ie.)! A girl wants to go, and if I say.. "ok bye", there is a quick retort accusing that I was only waiting for her to leave! Then again, I say "plz stay back for some more time".. and there again, I did wrong! Uff!! This is but just the tip of the ice berg!

The mountain beneath is even more scarier *bitin' my nails off*. And this comes to the point of actually proposing.. you know! Even confessing ones love seems such an arduous task! When do you know that it is the right time to do it? We men, seem to give out a lot of vibes and hints that we want to take the relationship to the next level! But do they? If they do.. how do we know!? And what if we misread their hints, and do propose! Gosh! the hell breaks lose! And if we don't, then we lost our opportunity! My head is all fuzzy!! Probably it is this uncertainity of online relationships that is the reason behind all this. Many of my friends call me a Joey (albeit not as dumb as him), regarding girls..! And yet, I am caught in this rigmarole!

There ought to be some easy way into the mind of a woman(girl)! The way I see it.. you know, its much easy.. if girls themselves propose! End all this quest, and they come out into the open! But then.. they are girlssss.. will they do it.. won't they do it.. will they do it.. wont' they do it....

Analysis of Mahabharatha - part 2

It was really heartening to know the interest that Mahabharatha and its inherent meanings generated in many of my friends. So here comes the much awaited 2nd part of the same. In the last write-up, I had very briefly mentioned some points about various characters and some psychological insights into them.

Today being Janmaashtami, I began reading the Bhagavad Gita, and one character that really intrigued me was that of Duryodhana. Duryodhana represents the product of the animosity and vice that was vested in many Kauravas. And so great was their viciousness that even the great stalwarts like Bheeshma and Drona failed to convert him. And yet, we cannot write-off Duryodhana as being an entire novice. Let us first look at his birth!

Gandhari wanted to be the first one to give birth to a child. Though she and kunti both became pregnant at the same time, it was Kunti who bore Yudhisthira first! Overcome by jealousy, she destroyed her womb! The zygote was broken into a 101 pieces, which Shri Veda Vyasa is said to have nurtured in pots and eventually gave rise to the 100 kaurava princes and 1 princess. Thus, the factor of jealousy was instilled in him right at his birth, through his mother!

His father, Dhritaraashtra (as the name itself signifies) was very attached to the throne, and was insecure about it. Insecurity only fuels the jealousy, and to air this fire of hatred, there was the ever present Shakuni! He formed the much needed covering that was necessary to protect this fire from the counter efforts of Bheeshma/Drona/kRupa and Lord Krishna himself.

As we know, the evil succeeded in executing this plan of "self-destruction", eventually resulting in the biggest war ever fought - the Mahabharatha.

It is in this war though, that the real psychology of Duryodhana is beautifully put forth by the master writer, Maharshi Veda Vyasa. In the first canto of Bhagavad Gita, Duryodhana is seen approaching Drona and debriefing him about the armies on both sides. The surprising fact being that, it was Bheeshma who was the commander of the army! Then pray why should the prince approach another warrior and brief him about the army instead of the Commander!!!!

This belies the inherent disbelief he had in the faithfulness of the grand old man of Hastinapura! Duryodhana never believed anyone amongst his circle! He knew that even Drona for that matter was inherently with the Pandavas. Though his trust in Karna was great, Karna had vowed that he would not fight the battle as long as Bheeshma was on field! So Karna was just an appendix! Thus when Duryodhana stood arrayed in the battle, he knew that for all practical purposes, he was there all alone!

It is this realization that prompts him to say "aparyaaptam idam balam bheeshmaabhirakShitam" - this power of ours being protected by Bheeshma is inadequate! And yet he realized that the power being protected by Bheema (though Drushtadyumna was their commander in chief) was adequate to vanquish the vast army of the Kauravas - "paryaaptamtwidamEtEShaam balam bheemaabhirakShitam".

Thus one can but see that Duryodhana was well aware of the futility of this war, and yet he went ahead with it! The question being, why?! Was a person so well aware of his powers, yet so foolish enough to go to an absolutely vain war! He was sure of his defeat even before the war started! Here we see the big picture of ego! Solely it was Ego which drove Duryodhana to war. Ego rises only when a person is insecure! And Duryodhan was an epitome of insecurity, and thus he had an even huge ego! An ego that was bruised time and again! To Duryodhana, probably this war was the means to end all the inherent suffering he was undergoing! If he won, he could revel in the riches. If he lost, well it would put to end, once for all the bickerings of his mind for power!

It is such complexities that makes Duryodhana's character really worthy of studying.

Megha sandesha - A poem of a dream!

Ok... here is the poem that I finally managed to put together! I dunno how it has turned out to be! Will let you guyz decide for now.. coz there isn't quite someone who I could dedicate this to now, except the dream of someone... (Man! am I romantic..or am I romantic :P).

Through a poet's eye!

From a long time, there was this urge in me to write a poem, in Kannada, titled "megha sandesha" - a letter through the clouds! I tried many times to write this, which resulted in the premature end of many pages lives! They are all now cursing me in the trash can! Well.. tragic as it may seem.. an interesting thing is also happening!

The day I decided to write this poem, the clouds arrived to Wichita! And since then, they are lingering here, showering what seems to be their discontent at my lethargy and impaled imagination! I would like to believe, inspite of what meteorologists have to claim, that these clouds are indeed here for me! Albeit, probably the reason that I haven't yet written the poem, may be that I still do not have a loving heart to address it to!!! Should I allow my imagination itself to conjure up one of 'em?! I dunno!

Anyways, here is what I have in mind about what the poem would sound like..

"Ashaada" is the month of rain, and usually no marriages are done during that season. Soon after Ashadha comes "Shraavana". There is the young man, whose marriage has been arranged with his sweet heart. The month of Shraavana is fast approaching the the last clouds of the Ashaadha are about to depart. The young man, sends these rain clouds to the place of his sweet heart as his messengers, and beseeches them to dress up the girl, and have her prepared for the wedding, as he is to arrive there soon, and thus end the days of separation!

He specifies how he wants his bride dressed up! He also cautions them to cover the full moon, lest he cast an eye on her beauty and scorch her beautiful skin!

*deep sighs*... well, so runs my imagination.. I better write the poem soon.. it has again started to rain outside!!!

Mahabharata: A mirror to the human psyche!

When I was probably in high school, I had dared to analyse Mahabharatha! I call it daring because, I believe that at that age, I was absolutely incompetent to understand the depth of knowledge embedded in this work. Without getting into the discussion whether the story was a fact or fiction, an analysis can still be made of the importance of this work not just for Indian philosophy, but also in various other aspects.
One thing that always has me avid is the psychological interpretations embedded in every Mahabharatha character. The story though overtly appears to be one of Pandavas and Kauravas, the roots run very deep! They are as embedded in the blind devotion of Bheeshma as is in the mercurial nature of Shantanu. Dhritaraashtra represents the infatuation we have for our possessions! Duryodhana was a mistake of Dhritaraashtra! He was a mistake, because he represents the ignorance of Dhritaraashtra, the attachment and selfishness embedded within the heart of the blind King. And indeed he turned a blind-eye towards him, which as I see it represents the attitude we have towards our shortcomings. In order that we continue to enjoy the pleasures that we have (be it wealth, sensual or power), we always choose to ignore the shortcomings that we have. In our eyes, these short comings infact represent the means to enjoy the pleasures and thus become dear to us!
Karna, I feel, was never a friend of Duryodhana. He saw himself as an obligated servant. I wouldn't also classify him as a good servant, as he never foresaw the danger awaiting his master. Nevertheless, since he was under the obligation of Duryodhana, he tread the path walked by him! Apart from this, the whole story revolves around one basic psychology - Revenge! Dhritarashtra's ignorance of Pandavas, is just a manifestation of his revenge for not being chosen king in the first place! As he was born blind, Dhritarashtra was not made King, Pandu was chosen! Draupadi insulted Karna in her swayamvara, which led to Karna instigating Duryodhana to strip her! Duryodhana's this act, resulted in Draupadi and Pandavas' vow for revenge! Shakuni who played the pivotal role in the destruction of Kauravas, did so for avenging the "injustice" meted to his sister Gandhari! Shikhandi, Arjuna, Shalya, Drona, Drupada, Drushtadymna! All the pivotal characters let the revenge to take control of their actions! The death of Upapandavas, the attempt to kill Parikshith, everything is a product of this one human emotion - revenge!
What is the essense of this?
Isn't it indeed a wonder how effectively so much information has been embedded in a single work! Indeed it is the greatest work ever composed in the history of mankind. We must try to study this in depth and imbibe its vast resources and make our lives more meaningful! The Question being...Will we?

Guess who!

Guess who says
Hi Praveen, Just happened to come across your blog…couldnt stop myself from reading. Tht blog was so typical of u..glad to know u havnt changed too much.


Ok, so this was the comment left to one of my blogs jeevan ke safar mein in my home page. Now, the whole idea behind someone leaving a comment on your blog would be to share their views on the particular subject! Wudn't it be so? Otherwise, it would be to acknowledge you, say a friend or a relative! Now, apart from these two categories there seem to be this really strange category of people who leave some comments, making you think about who they are! After all what is the whole idea of being anonymous! Is there a certain sadistic pleasure some may obtain, by hiding their identities and making a person wonder about them! Or is it one of their methodologies to earn a write up for themselves ;) from the likes of me :D.
Anyways, whoever this "Guess who" is I'd like to say that it was heartening to know that you do find me quite unchanged. So my dear stranger, wish you a very happy day!

Writing Letters!

Modern technology! The more we seem to use the modern technology the more we seem to be making several arts archiac! One of it is the art of writing letters. When I first came to United States, one of the several directions given to me was to write letters to them regularly. I devotedly used to follow that, and write to them regularly, atleast once in a fortnight. My father has preserved them all to this day! Anyways, coming to the point! In the modern days, no wonder, we have the e-mail, which has infact gotten rid of the snail-mail, or letter as we know of it!!
It has infact brought people from all around the world so close! The thing that has me tongue-tied, is that, now even writing mails seems to be an arduous task! I sit for hours together, and writing even a couple of lines seems highly impossible! What is so tough in conjuring up some words of enquiry and goodwill?! I wonder!
There are moments when words just fail to turn up in your mind, how much ever you fret and frown! Then there are moments, when a verbal avalanche seems to be set lose in your mind. Whatever be the issue, writing seems to be in need of a revival ! There are ofcourse different methods to do this. Technology has brought to us different techniques, including blogging!
But somewhere amidst all this, the mind still longs for the days when the arrival of the postman would fill my heart with excitement at the thought of a letter, carrying personally handwritten feelings by a heart somewhere that was thinking about me!