Whose Tag is it Anyway!!

It had been quite a while since we played the game of tagging the fellow bloggers! There were a few questions that have been playing pranks in my mind. So here goes a list of questions and my answers for the same. And me being the originator, the bloggers I'd like to Tag with these questions are - Kishan, Manju, Chandan, Velu, Giridhar Narayan, Madhuri, and Divya (Enigma). Hope they respond duly in their respective blogs!

1. Name :- Praveen

2. Date of Birth :- 19th of March

3. Ambition in Life :- To be successful and stay happy in any endeavour that I may take.

4. Your Asset(s) :- My patience, smile, sense of humor and the talents.

5. The biggest flaw in your personality :- Indecision and procrastinations.

6. What gives you the greatest pleasure? - Being the way I like to be!

7. What hurts you the most? - Anger, misunderstanding, hypocrism.

8. What motivates you? - Challenge and urge to learn.

9. Who has had the greatest influence in your life? - My Aunt.

10. What is your idea of perfect happiness? - A mind free of fears, concerns, and guilt.

11. What is the best gift that can be given to anyone? - To love them for what they are.

12. The biggest mistake you ever committed in your life? - Thus far it has been to lose sight of my goal. As for future, too early to say anything ;).

13. What, in your opinion, is Life? - Matter of perception.

14. What is the toughest thing to do in this world? - To let go.

15. Humanity is at cross-roads. What do you suggest as a remedial measure? - Be truthful to yourself and set off on any road - You can always take U turns.

16. On what scale do u measure friendship? How much would u trust your friend? - I don't measure friendship. I trust my friend 100%.

17. What is the quality you like the most in a man and a woman? - Respect and Love.

18. How would you like to be remembered after your death? - It is to the prerogative of the person who wants to remember me.

19. Message to the world? - Treat others the way you would want to be treated if in their position.

20. What attracts you the most? - The S O S of life - Simplicity, Originality and Sincerity.

21. How would you describe yourself in a single adjective? - A Hearty Explorer.

22. What do you look for in a relationship? - I do not get into a relationship hoping to profit from it! But I'd look for mutual trust, respect and Love.

23. The person you would like to be in your next life? - ME!!

So, these were the questions and my answers for 'em. I hope my fellow bloggers would respond soon and favorably!

My Grouse on Weight Loss!

I am shooore that many of my friends who have seen me, would agree that I have no need whatsoever to workout! But then, my mom has quite a different perspective on my physical structurization. Alas! She is my mom and a damn adamant one at that! So when she gave me an ultimatum on Sunday that I either shed those extra pounds showing around me, faster than Udita Goswami can shed her clothes, or else, let her find a girl for me, I was left with no choice! Now now.. not that my mother wouldn't have chosen a girl good enough for me, but then, I would've lost the simple pleasures of seeking! So having settled that, I chose to go with the devil and even coaxed a friend of mine to be my accomplice in this ritualistic sacrifice of the triglicerides in the body!

On an auspicious moment of the Monday evening, me and my friend embarked on the arduous journey to the altar of body building! Now, I am not the one who generally takes to think low of my esteemed self! And my initial impression of the one's working out there didn't seem to do any harm either! Those wretched souls with their thin lean bodies looked utterly famished, and produced in me a sniggering much as erst while villains like Vajramuni/Pran sported! My well fed body knew what it was in for, and slightly shivered at the thought of becoming one of those leanies! It shuddered even as I held the handle of the peddler! Not to be undone, I set the program up, and started to peddle! My muscles let out a shriek "Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin......... keh do ki yeh jhoooT hai.... aisa nahin ho sakta... choD do mujhe.. kameene.. tere paas aur koi body vody nahin hai kyaa..." but I peddled on.. and on.. till the shrieks turned to silent sniffs.. and then there was silence. Oh! Curse my villainy!!

Now! what in heaven's name is wrong in being, well a little chubby in all the cute places!! I am sure girls would love to pull my cheeks and maybe rest on my soft tummy! But no! that is not to be done!! Well after burning a 100 calories on the peddler, I went over to the circuit room. Now herein, they have arranged a whole array of machines chosen exclusively to work every part of your body! And what more! they even have an automated system that tells you when to start, and when to stop and move to the next station! Kewl eh? Ah! but the drama was yeddo stard! For there was this immense gargantuan specimen of homo sapien species working out over there! On the weight lifting stations, this King of a Kong, had set the weighs to 200 lbs!! thatz even more than my body weight and the scales that I can lift combined!! Now, having been well aware of my immense physical abilities and not willing to give him a complex, I decided to reduce the weight to the minimum.. and set it to hehehehehe 30 lbs! All was going on well, till that species decided to go over the stations once again, and as he approached the station that I had worked on, his eyes nearly popped out of his thick skull! He looked at me, as if looking at the most poor and wretched creature that one may find in the remote corner of the kitchen cabinet! It's a feeling that says.. "Oh! you poor thing! look at you! I can crush you like a piece of overcooked potato but then, whatz the fun in that!" and then u sweep it up and trash it out!! Albeit here he obviously couldn't trash me out, and so gave his "you despicable creature" look and set the weights back to his capacity! And I! much relieved at the end of it all, rushed home, and complimented myself by eating a vanilla chocolate ice cream that incidentally had 136 calories in it! Amen to that!

2 Movies and a Nite!!

So you guyz already know what this is all about! Yeah! Watched 2 movies tonite! "Rang De Basanti" and "Main Meri Patni Aur Woh". Both the movies were drastically varied in many ways, but yet provided quite a wholesome entertainment! And here I am, providing a review of both, as per my tastes, and interests!

Rang De Basanti :- The story of the young generation that is awakened to the condition of the country by embarking on a journey through the history of freedom struggle, sounded extremely promising! Indeed the first half kept the spirits alive, only to be hastily put down by the second! Disappointing? To a certain extent.. yes! Was it the hype the media created? Or was it the way the first half of the movie portrays itself to be? Or is it something that my personal perception is finding hard to digest? I dunno! I felt that the movie did not do justice to what otherwise was an excellent story line!

Ups of the movie :- The par excellence acting by all the actors! The music scored by A R Rahman, the beautiful locales chosen for the picturization, and the innovativeness of the idea. The portrayal of the gradual change in the outlook of the main characters has been well handled, not to mention the interleaved sequences of the freedom struggle. All the main characters have excelled in their performances. Soha Ali khan has given a wonderful performance considering this to be her first movie!

Downs of the movie :- The dramatization of the events, which is far from truth, even in the present India! That the goverment would storm the Akashvani building with Black commandos to kill the college students, who are on air confessing their crimes and exposing the reasons behind it is quite hard to digest, let alone the portrayal of the police beating up a peaceful candle light vigilance. Ace actors and actresses like Waheeda Rehman, Kiron Kher, Anupam Kher and Om puri are wasted in very small roles! Though, they have all rendered their roles wonderfully well, there could have been more room provided for those characters! The parallel drawn between the main characters and the freedom fighters too seemed a tad over cooked! To say that they were influenced by them, is one thing! But then to compare their acts with the freedom struggle did not really seem convincing! With all due respects to his acting prowess, Aamir seemed out of the group amidst all the young actors!

Overall view :- I'd certainly recommend everyone to watch this movie. It is fresh as far as its idea is concerned. But I would not recommend high expectations on this. Sit back and relax, and do give a thought to the ideas portrayed. To that extent of getting the viewers mind to think on the story and thus about the condition of the nation, this movie indeed has been successful. Rating:- 8.5/10.

Main Meri Patni Aur Woh :- In a period where Bollywood relies very heavily on a studded star cast, exuberant settings, posh locales, and loaded concepts, here comes a movie that is down to earth in the literal sense - A less known star cast, a very simple, and normal story line, and highly simplistic portrayal of the same. Yet, it wins over you instantly. Though I must say at this point that this movie ran into controversy - accused of being a remake of a Malayalam movie - "Vadakkunokkiyanthram". The same concept was also used in a kannada movie, "nanna hendati cennagiddale" (literally translated means, "My wife is beautiful"). So controversies apart, the story is about a middle class guy Mithilesh Shukla(Rajpal Yadav) known popularly as Chote babu, who, as fate would have marries Veena (Rituparna Sengupta). His wife is well educated, from a higher economic class, and above all extremely beautiful! Her beauty only adds to the woes of Mithilesh, who starts eyeing every person around him suspiciously and hence tries hard to keep them away from his wife. Enter the erstwhile friend of Veena, Akash (Kay Kay), and all hell breaks lose! Akash is better than Mithilesh in all respects, and what more! He is creative too! Well then there is the brewing misunderstanding, and then the cloud clears, and before long, its the usual happy ending that we all look forward to! The movie is extremely promising, and is very hearty. The emotional scenes are very short lived, and deftly handled. The movie is extremely smooth in its flow, and will leave the viewer smiling for a long time to come.

Ups of the Movie :- Absolutely superb acting by Rajpal Yadav and Rituparna, excellent direction, well handled story line, melodious and lilting songs. It is a tragedy that in the glitz and glamour of Bollywood the true talents like that of Rajpal Yadav, and the director Chandan Arora (who also directed "Main Madhuri Dixit Ban na chahti hoon") are over shadowed! I would not be surprised if this movie is not nominated for any awards or even if it is, it may fail to rake any! That is just how superficial and hollow the industry has become. To praise the acting of Rajpal yadav would be an arduous task, as all the adjectives that one may use will seem hackneyed, and I am not able to coin new terms as of yet! He acts as naturally as he breathes! The song "Aaj maine dil se" remains echoing in the heart long after the movie has ended! The movie is extremely easy on the mind and heart of the viewer and maintains its lightness all through to the ending! It would be a crime to miss out on such a beautiful movie.

Downs of the Movie :- I really can't think of any as of now, except that this movie is a Bollywood movie! In that, as I already mentioned, it will fail to receive the due appreciation and accolades it so richly deserves.

Overall Rating :-10/10. Again, Don't miss this!

Hum pyaar karne waale!

Well, stupid cupid's day is over!! I am sure he shot quite a few arrows! And just how many hit, and how many missed will be known before the year ends ;). And yeah, this blog including, all the media swayed for the romance in the air! There were celebrations of great romances and every friggin' lover thought that he was yeddanoder Romeo (RSS/Shiv Sena Patronists read Heer/Majnu) and every heart broken dude spoke of the pointlessness of such celebrations (ignoring the protests of the so called protectors of culture). eeeeeeeeneyways! Now just like yin-yang, black-white, beautiful-ugly, amitabh-kishan, madhuri-meghana, our bollywood has given us the best and probably the most awful lovers/love stories! Now I know that all you people have been fed up and are ready to puke out the names of the best ones! But then, to counter that, lets think of the really repulsive lovers we have seen on screen! What say you? ;)

• Vikas Bharadwaj-Meghana (Classic-Dance of love) :- For crying out loud! What was Subhash Ghai thinking when launching this movie through his productions or I guess he truly wasn't! Ever had an experiencing of groping in the dark corners of the bench you are sittin' on during your first date with a gorgeous babe, looking for something and end up with a sticky mess "that must not be named" -much like a relic of someone?! And there is so much embarassment, shock, and trauma! And you have this demented and shocked monkey look on your face! Trust me! That sounds far better than the experience of watching this movie! Herez a sample for ya all - The lead actress named Doli (no comments.. trying hard not to kill myself!) is watching the movie "Romeo and Juliet" with the lead actor (oh boy! He can put a fossil of a wood to shame and kill it all over again with his acting prowess). The scene is of Romeo makin' out with Juliet when they meet secretly in her room. And voila the female lead realizes that the film is in English!!! And she goes "yeh kaun sa piccar dikhaa rahe ho hamein, hamein toh yeh bhaasha samajh mein hI nahin aati"!!!! (Comeon! don't stop me! I wanna die!!!!). And thatz when the Mr. Woody Vikas goes on to explain the situation of the movie, slowly seducing her! I mean! Dude! You could have done that using any porn! And she pretty damn well would have understood!! More Duh!! And if Bappi's music did not tip me off, the fact that this movie was directed by the same person who made that wildly junglee movie "Tarzan" must have!! I am planning to sue them for intense psychological disruption and demention of my mental status!
• Fardeen Khan - Meghana Kothari (Prem Aggan) :- Ok! Now was this meant to be a funny movie? No? Oh! I guess you wanted this to be a sexy and sizzling movie? Not even that!!! Hmm.. lemme think! Ah! Yeah! Oh My! How could I not see it! Isn't this supposed to be a horror movie?!! Whatz that! Oh comeon! the only person allowed to curse around here would be me! And boy oh boy! this movie did leave me dumbfounded to even speak! Here is a guy loving this thing called a gal, making out like dogs in barns! They have to just see a snake, and before long they are out there trying all postures and positions that their bodies can manage! She goes "aaj mujhe us har dard ka ehsaas karaado, jisse mera yeh jism sirf tumhaara ho jaaye" - now was this an invite to make love?! I am sure there was a mis-communication! For Fardeen does get on to her like a mad dog, and before long he goes "nahin mein yeh nahin kar sakta (shocked expressions!! Oh dude, that has some serious repercussions)!!!"
• Sanjay Kapoor - Tabu (Prem) :- Nature is a known for its peculiarities and weirdness - and then there is Sanjay Kapoor!! I am sure even the maker must have squirmed in his seats when he made him! And here he is going "saamne hai par nazar atti nahin... atti nahin..." doing in the hall what may seem a neandrethel form of dance, except that the fire was missing! And oh yeah! the story! oh gosh! Now thatz what love is all about! 7 births and they still are in love with eachother! Now Tabu did seem an intelligent girl! And the same mistake in all the 7 births!! Oh comeon!!
• Govinda - Aishwarya Rai (Albela) :- Ok.. let's start with what went wrong. Ah! that's right! This movie was even considered worthy of thinking let alone make one! And then, they paired up Govinda with Aishwarya Rai! It is not even putting a new label on an old bottle!! And what more! Jackie is the lover boy and then there is Namrata Shirodkar! Need one say more? No? Oh comeon, I need to share the agony! Ah! the story! Tourist guide meets phoren girl. Desi girl sets eyes on guide. Journalist doodle eyes phoren girl....zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
• Hrithik - Kareena (Yaadein) :- Woah! Whadda movie! I remember going into a long depression soon after watching this mistake of a movie, that seems to have taken a set of gobbledygook hotch potch and tried to concoct what seemed to be a run-away success in driving away the viewers!! While it was a torture enough to bear with Jackie, add to that those weird antics of Hrithik (the torture of bearing with hundreds of Hrithiks dancing with guns in their hands, while one was quite a lot to handle), and whatz more? Shaadi.com!! thatz what!

Much as I would like to include Mallika-Himanshoooo ("Khwahish"), SRK - troupe of monkeys ("Mohabbatein"), Salman-Diya ("tumko na bhool paayenge") and many many more, I would not want to deter dear ol' cupid! But then what can one say! He certainly goofs up sometimes! And what more! Bollywood celebrates it! Now, I am exiting, to go through yeddanoder round of pyschological counseling for intense trauma and tension! For all those who read this, do write to me for free aspirins!

Do you know why I love you so much? Hmm... sometimes I wonder, if there is any need for you to know it too! Probably you know that I do love you!

You always tell me that we are different! You have oft pointed out to the different views we share on various issues. I see that we complement eachother. I know that neither of us are perfect! But I have come to realize that we are not perfect as ourselves. I do know that we are perfect with eachother! We are perfect together! Perfection is not about being without shortcomings. Perfection is about being us! Being what we are!

We have spoken so many times! We have fought, we have laughed, we have teased eachother silly, and there have been moments of silence between both of us. I have heard you even in those moments of silence. I have heard you in the songs that touched my heart. I have heard you in the calm breathe of a deep peaceful sleep. I hear you in the silent bloom of the smile on my lips, when I am thinking of you. I have heard your voice in the babbling of the brooks, in the early morning sun rays, and the silent soothing touch of the moon! I have felt your breathe caressing me in my sleep, like the passing breeze.

We have fought vehemently! We have tried to hurt eachother with words! I have been ruthless to you when you put down my emotions. Am I wrong? They say that true love never hurts. So is this not true? Hey! But then, I never said I was hurt! We both know that we do it, because we need to feel the yearning we have for one another. Your intense retort makes me feel the passion in your heart for me. I feel like getting back to you with an equally acute passion. It is a love-making with a difference.

The happiness you share with me, the sorrows you made me a part of, spice up the dreary existence of this life. I have often felt like lifting you up in my arms, and carrying you off to a far off land, away from any hindrances, and set you free. I want to make you light as a feather - lift every burden off of you. I want to sit back, and watch you playfully toss around in the smoothly flowing breeze. And at the end of the day, I want to rest your head in my lap, smoothing your ruffled hair, under the star lit skies of the dark, talking of nothing! Staring into your eyes, losing myself!

You have called me a casanova! You have wondered how many girls have heard these things from me! There have been words that I have spoken to them too! I have never denied it! You already know of all my affairs! Ironic as it may seem, it is due to them, that I now tell you the same words, with a passion that I had never had till now. It is due to them, that I have now started to love you, respect you, and want you. You still continue to tease me! I still continue to love you.

We have both shared great moments of happiness together. Do you think I remember them? No! I don't! Do you want to know what I do remember? I remember your hearty laughter at my pranks! I remember the first time I locked eyes with yours. I remember the first time I held your hand and never let go of it. I remember the sweet aroma of yours, when you wrapped your hands around my neck, drawing me close to you!

I have dreams of us. I have dreams that I want to make true! I have dreams that I dream with my eyes open. You are a part of all of them. The family we are going to rise, the children we will have! The things they will learn from you, and from me! The house that we shall build for ourselves. I dream of helping you achieve whatever you aim at. I dream of being a part of all your endeavours, of your dreams, and your life!

Do I know if my dreams will come true? Do I know if our love will travel the path we chose? My heart sighs at these questions. I do not have the answer. All I know is that I am in love with you. I want to enjoy this feeling of being! And for this, I am ready to deny the reality and accept the illusions! The illusion that you are here with me! Yes! I know! I love you so much. But do you know?

Divine Conflicts!

Before the phantom of False morning died,

Methought a Voice within the Tavern cried,

"When all the Temple is prepared within,

Why nods the drowsy Worshipper outside?"

- English Translation from Rubaiyat (by Omar Khayyam)

Past few weeks have been time and again spent in the contemplations of customs, traditions, the aspects of prayers, worships and God - altogether. I have not been worshipping or offering my daily prayers like I have to - as directed by the caste system. I have tried to involve in other activities that has to a certain extent gained precedence over my routine worship. Honestly, it disturbed me. It was a tug of war between the ethical directions and the mind. It led to a lot of introspection, thoughts, queries and answers!

I happened to read Bertrand Russell's "A Free Man's Worship" - it posed the same questions as in my mind. Was it helpful? I guess so. There are things I have come to realize, but to convince myself of them, is turning out to be a difficult proposition than what I thought! They make sense logically, ethically, and even in the precincts of religiousness.

These days my mind vehemently opposes to subject itself to the drudgery of routineness! The boredom is repulsive! And I have been trying to experiment with varied facets to overcome this. The daily prayers, worships are methods of achieving inner discipline, peace of mind, and tranquility. When methods turn to habits, I guess that is when they start becoming bland! The guilt that is accompanied by such feelings in no way helps, and the situation only got worse. I finally accepted the fact that I for one, am bored of the rituals. Am I being defiant? I think not. I do not find them meaningless. I respect them even to this day. But I am bored of them! This holds true even to the daily attributes. The mind craves variety - variety of people, variety of thoughts, variety of challenges! Am I giving to my senses? Or am I losing my discipline? I felt I was being agnostic! That my mind was clouded by my doubts and I gave them a lot of precedence. I had to stand clear and think! And for this, I had to accept. I accepted that I wanted to explore newer ways of enriching my daily life. To add a new dimension to the mundane activities and thus realize an entire different level of well being. I do not feel I am being anti-religious, or dubious of my religious principles. Perhaps, it is a hint to myself.

One thing is for sure, I will have a tough time in keeping a job! Unless I find ways of making it exciting, and learning new stuffs, I am sure, I will be skipping the jobs like a mad bunny! Heck! I may totally stop working, and rush out to meet life head on! Maybe be an explorer! Come to think of it. Isn't that what I am doing right now too? Life again seems so exciting and wonderful! Three cheers to that!!

Sapne suhaane ladak pan ke-1!

I always feel that telephone calls during the night times must be banned! Why?! Well for starters, isn't the night itself intoxicating? I mean for non-drinkers like me, it is this time that really brings out the hidden secrets of us! And what is the trigger for this? Well.. the phone! And that is how our story begins today!

It was just any other wasted weekend we guyz were having in our apartment! Each of us acting like born fools - teasing the monkey out of each of us! Therein comes a call from a friend and eventually the talk that started with the rigmaroles of work, winds through the policies of Bush administration, and before long, we are talking about our childhood crushes! Now wait a minute! You are asking me what the relation was to all these talks? Heck! Have you ever asked the same question to Karan Johar?! Better still, if Vikram Bhatt could get off with passing Mauritius to be Bombay in Kasoor! I can too! So well, pipe down, and listen to the story; which has thankfully neared its end! So before long, we had both recollected all our crushes, fantasies, and tomfoolery of our erstwhile days! The night is young still, and I thought that I'd rehash with you people too, about my (and your) childhood memories!

Ok! Tape rewind to circa 1984-85. Whatz that? You are watching it in Black n White? Duh! Anyways, it was the class of 1st standard. And I was playing the game of "Mummy-Daddy" with the girl sittin' next to me. And before I knew, ******* (two flowers touchin' eachother, two birds - typically doves/parrots coochie cooin'), camera tilt - the girl is blushing, and the guy is shocked! Why? Well, the teacher saw it! And I had to change my place! *deep sighs*.

Lesson learnt:-One doesn't get babies by kissing girls! (That gave me a good sleep that night!)

Tape fast forwards to circa 1989-90. Ok! Now this one, we will show in eastman color! A group of guyz playing cricket and lagori on the streets in Rajajinagar! All emulating our favorite heroes of Kannada film industry. Yours truly, remembering the style with which Dr. Raj had teased Arathi by hitting her with a stone; promptly threw the ball at a girl walking down our street! Well before long, one could watch a cute little boy, running like his balls were set on fire, down the street - being chased by the girl! *more deep sighs*.

Lesson learnt:-It's tough to run while managing to hold the falling chaddi in one hand!

Now, now, you can all stop sniggering. Well, atleast am being honest in admitting my crushes. Now is it just a co-incidence that there is just a letter difference between crush and crash? But aren't they among the best memories of our lives? I still remember the dress that my crush wore in the group dance competition! Me dressed in a pink shirt (EEEEEks!!!) and black pant - with a cute black bow! She in a pink frill frock! Both of us twisting our bodies to "Baar Baar dekho hazaar baar dekho"! I can still vividly remember the first birthday present that I had hand-made for her! Those innocent romantic days filled with promises of never forgetting eachother! Whatz that again? How many similar promises I did? Heck! who remembers! I always thought it was the first time with each one. *cutely batting the eyelashes*

Well, what can one say! Its just beautiful! Is it the age? Is it the sheer innocence of the feelings? (Oh! stop sniggerin! I was indeed innocent). Who cares! What mattered was that each time the heart felt it was in love! Maturity for one, does strip the heart of this innocence! yes! now we know what love is all about! But sometimes.. when the night is intoxicating, and you are just so wasted on the weekends... it is the memories of those puppy loves that bring a smile to the face and a brightness to the dreariness of the dark! Amen to that!

I'm comin' up .. so u better get this party started!!!!!

Oh yeah! baby!! Now.. all you guyz n galz line up! On the count of three... three.. two.. two1/2.. two 1/4... one!! TaDaaaaan!! *Tralalalalalalala* *jhing chak jigi jigi chak* *girls shrieking their lungs out* and now.. a solemn voice comes about reverberating in the DTX style - "mic check... mic check..1 2 3..."yappy burrday to you... yappy burrrday to you.. yappy burrday to you bloggy dearie... yappy birthday tooo you. Mayyy gaaawdddd bleeesss youuu. youuu're written by a maaankeeeyyyyyy... and he writes about them too". [vehement protests heard in the background by the fans of Meghana Naidu, Himanshu Malik, Kishan kumar, et al]

"Ladies, gentlemen and Kishan kumar! Exactly one year and one day ago, there was a historical event of least significance dat happened in the vaarld of blaagging (read more aptly as braggin'). On this day, an entry was made in the hiding. With much predicament, apprehension, and circumspection, an entity of the biological world of homo sapiens who had been aptly addressed to by other worthy specimens of the same species.. as "the all knower", "the intelligent", and "the expert"!! (I'll pause till this sentence sinks to the itsy bitsy brains of Meghana Naidu and Himanshu Malik.) made his first entry (well it wasn't really the first.. or was it.. heck who cares! Let's party!!!) in the blogger space! *sniff* *sniff* [This is a typical Karan-barjatya moment of sentiments over flowing]. Awwwww!! I always like such happy moments.. *sniff* *sniff*.. *brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrm* (blowing my nose). Anyways.. so continuing.. all you worthy readers out there.. started getting your fill of absolute crap from me! What more! Shit happened, I always forgot to flush it ;)

Anyways, the past is past... and now we are setting forth on a new year! To bring forth even more outcry on the acting prowess of lots of people! Bollywood is still churning out disasters in the disguises of actors/actresses and as long as it is going on at it, you are assured of this column's survival!! *heavin' a sigh of relief*

So with the great responsibility having been vested on my slender and delicate shoulders of supporting the cause of all these people, I here by humbly accept your wishes and you can mail me all your presents at my residential address (please email me personally the details of the presents that you want to send me, so I can decide on whether or not I can give u my address. So all you sweety-pies out there, better come up with a good list ok?)

what'z that? you want a party? Hmm.. lemme think... ok! You will get one! and guess whoz comin' to the party!! It's my dear ol' Garfy!!!!!! *more girls cat-calling (sic)* And now... let the party begin!!!

"I like to move it move it.. I like to move it move it.. ya like to...?

MOVE IT!!" [in chorus]

Well dudaas and dudees let's get wasted! And the persona divine now exits.. amidst much fanfare and pompous farewell!!

She Walks in Beauty...

Found this written on someone's door while walking in my office. It instantly caught my attention with its beauty of expression. It was only the first paragraph that they had on there, and hence, as soon as I came home, I went online to figure out who wrote this! Well! bingo! found the culprit who had so wonderfully worded the magic of Love! Lord Byron is his name, and here is the poem, that stole my heart! Wish I cud tell this to the love of my life.. someday.. somewhere! ;)

She Walks in Beauty, like the night

Of Cloudless climes and starry skies,

And all that's best of dark and bright

Meet in her aspect and her eyes;

Thus mellow'd to that tender light

Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o'er her face,
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.


And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,—
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.

-George Gordon Byron, Lord Byron. 1788–1824

And the secret is out....!!!

With much apprehension, hesitation, and circumspection, have I finally decided to show what I had been upto.. a prelude to which you guyz had already gotten in the post below this one! *cheeks turning RED* * heart beating faster n faster*....
So guyz... what do u think? eh? *eyes winkin'*

Tongue-in-cheek!!

I was not so sure of myself! Can I do it? Must I do it? I was not so sure! You know.. it isn't the same thing as Himanshu acting! He just doesn't care if its acting or not! He just does it! On the other hand if only I was as deft as Mallika or Meghana in strippin'! But I am not a pro in what I am about to do!

You know.. it had been quite a while, since I had done it! I still remember the first time that I did it.. I was young! I was confused! It was an instinct, and it just happened! I did not intend to do so! I was surprised at what came out!! I looked at it in awe and wonder! It felt good! Initially I had to look at something when doing it! But later on, with seasonin', I had started to imagine and do it! And I did a pretty good job on it too! It felt good even more! I had started to improve!

But before long, the increasing work, studies, and stress had reduced the frequency of it. I still used to take sometime off and do it. It was very relaxing, and refreshing! But all this was in the past! Yeah! It has been a long time since I did it! And now, I wanted to do it again! Self-doubt plagued me. I resolved to do it no matter what! Maybe I will fail, maybe the result would not be what I wanted it to be! But one had to take the chance! I had abstained from it for a long time. It was now time to break the circle.

I looked at it - long, and lying limp! I said to it - You have got a job dude! And you better get up and get it done! I held it in my hand! I could feel the coldness. I shuddered. Must I do it still? My mind was racing.... there was no turning back now! The question was, must I imagine or must I see something? I did not want to take any chances... I decided on the latter. I did not want to strain my brain a lot, it already had a lot of work to do, in co-ordinating my hands!! But the travails did not end there! I had to choose what to see! Something that is stimulating to the eyes and pleasant! I searched! I went online looking for it! Wonder of Wonders, I found it in an email attachment! It was with me all the while?!!!! The time had finally come! I was all set to do it!

I started slowly, my hands quivering, even as I held it! Like a swimmer testing the water before getting into it, I slowly moved my hands. There were light strokes coming up! I continued for sometime. Things started shaping up, and it started to make sense. I could not stop it now. I had to do it. I was at it, and I did not have any more doubts in my mind! I could do it! yes! I can! I am doing it! I was exhilarated! I could not believe my eyes! I had not lost the touch!! Yes!!!!! It was complete!!! I heaved a huge sigh of relief, and wiped the sweat off my brow! I looked at it, and felt immense satisfaction rushing into my being! It is done! I got up, and cracked my fingers! They were relieved too! yes! It had been a long time. I resolved that I will do it more regularly! I went to sleep. It was a peaceful sleep that I slept last nite!

P.S :- Sooooooooooooooooooo.... all those of you, who are wonderin' what it is all about! Keep reading this column, for an update! Till then, happy guessing!!!

Rustling up some Russell!

"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly."
--Albert Einstein in a letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the controversial appointment of Bertrand Russell to a teaching position, dated March 19, 1940.

It seemed quite justifiable that I start this blog with a quote by Einstein on Bertrand Russell, for it was he, who introduced me to him! Weird as it may seem, I had taken profound interest in Quantum physics and found Einstein a divus in this land! In his book "Ideas and Opinions", he spoke with extreme veneration on Bertrand Russell. What really drove me to him nevertheless, was an excerpt from his book mentioned by good ol' Alby, in his essay. The excerpt was from a book by Russell - "An Inquiry into Meaning and Truth". Now mind you, me and my imbecile brain were both at a Pre-University level, and to tell you the truth, could garner abysmally minimal amount of what Bertrand had penned. I have indeed come a long way since then, with my mediocrity, and yes, he still holds me in awe! A change being that now, much like a slow learner, I have begun to understand the simple matters, intricately woven in his verbal maze!

Bertrand Russell is ruthless in his presentation of matters, and seldom tries to simplify his thoughts! I have found him unrelenting in his expression of his ideas and views, which bludgeons the principles he speaks of, and holds the reader in rapt attention (whether he understands it or not is a different issue altogether). There are some simple books that one may want to start with -

• The Conquest of Happiness :- After several months of abstaining from Bertrand Russell, invariably scared by his verbal aptitude as also the complexity of the ideas presented, I chanced upon this book. It exposed a more humane front of Russell - one wherein he is relatively simple in his expression. As for the ideas he talks of in this book, well let me tell you, this isn't a How-to-be-happy-in-24-hrs book in the layman sense of it. As with any great philosopher, he expects the reader to be mature enough to contemplate on his views, and not just accept them at the face value. In the end, one is convinced of his view of happiness and how one is to be happy amidst the rigmaroles of day-to-day lives.

• Education and Social Order :- Education is one of Russell's most passionate topics. His concern is clearly evident when he lucidly talks about topics that range from the method of teaching, to the subjects involved in educating the younger minds! He raises a very interesting question in this book. He wonders about how the younger generation must be educated? Must they be groomed to become ideal citizens? Or to become ideal Individuals? Want to have a take on this one?

• Mysticism and Logic :- The book starts with one of the celebrated essays of Bertrand Russell - "A Freeman's Worship". In this book he explores the various aspects of Religion, science, and metaphysics. He dwells at length on topics like mathematics, and its relation with the real world, philosophy and metaphysics. Here's an insightful writing coming directly from his pen, "The habit of being unable to recognize merit until it is dead is too apt to be the result of a purely bookish life, and a culture based wholly on the past will seldom be able to pierce through everday surroundings to the essential splendour of contemporary things, or to the hope of still greater splendour in the future." [Chapter 3: The Place of Science in Liberal Education, pp-51]

• An Inquiry into Meaning and Truth :- By far it is the most complicated book amongst all that I have read so far. His expositions on meaning begins right with the very base of words, language, and their use to express the ideas and feelings. Then comes the question of Truth! What is truth? What is the measure of truth? Here is where Russell lost me (or wherein I lost him)! The ethical view points on truth dives deep into the aspects of science, psychology and metaphysics! When I read this book, I was in my I PUC. Probably, I may change.



On the hindsight, the role of Russell's writings in giving newer aspects to my thought, would perhaps be augmented, if I had the capability to understand his line of philosophy. In whatever small manner he has imprinted his ideas on me, has certainly changed my perspective on many things. Yet, to wholly understand Russell, would be a challenge worth taking, and would make me very proud if I would be able to do it sometime, before long! Welches Sagen Sie Sir?

It's only words...

A couple of days ago, a friend of mine, wrote a beautiful mail to me. In which she wrote about words; words that we utter, that we write, that we use to express our deepest feelings and desires. It had me thinking about the importance of words in our day to day lives. Ofcourse they are important. As already said, that is how we express! That is how we have learnt to put across the multitudinous feelings that rage within us. Ever wondered how it would be if we were incapable of expressing with words? So, words have thus, made themselves very important for us. Yet another factor is who utters those words! Isn't it? Words that we would have heard over and over again, gain a certain importance when they come from a certain group of people. Words that a stranger (a person with whom we may feel no connection whatsoever) may not even reach our ears, but the slightest murmur of discomfort from our closest people is enough to create a storm of feelings in our minds.

What that offsets, determines to a large extent the future of the relationships. Often, harsh words give rise to harsh words. My teacher would remind us often, "People who fly into a rage, always make a bad landing". Words uttered in anger, dismay, confusion, only leads to more of it. To react to that in the same manner, only worsens the situations. So how is one to have the balance maintained in such a way, that it remains unaltered in the most adverse situations? How is one to give rise to words of love, and comfort when one is being abused? I am yet to learn it. But I am sure that it can be done.

Sure, they are only words, words that were created by us. But words are all we have, to build a better world.

More on the oceans....

Long long ago I had written a blog on oceans - the ol' blues of the world! Enormous quantities of water, and yet held within its limits! Varied secrets of the past, all hidden in its depths! The silent witness to the change that has been effective ever since the life was first formed in its wombs. Even more, being a part of that change, of that evolution! Bridging civilizations, and continents! Sometimes collecting a rather heavy toll for this service! The originator for several adventures, fairy tales, myths and legends! The mighty ocean!

One thing that is absolutely astounding about the ocean is its majesticity, and composure! Sure people have taken it for granted! They use it as a burial ground for the crap and s**** they want to discard! Every now and then, they spill oil into the oceans over a war that is only governed by selfish desires and personal hegemonies! And before long, they run to the oceans, feeling sorry for their deeds, trying to make up for their mistakes by cleaning up the mess that would not have been there in the first place, if man for his sense had the ability to control his tempers and desires! What more! they try to utilize the resources of the ocean, thanklessly plundering its vast riches for their personal benefits! Directly feeding their poisonous discards into its calm waters, making them murky, just like their minds - full of anger, suspicion, hatred, and disrespect for fellow humans. Before long, the ocean digests it all, rejuvenates and again holds its arms aloft for the life!

Then again, there comes a time, when in rage, the mighty ocean soars to heights that man cannot fathom, with a strength that dwarfs the technological prowess and power established by man, and in a single gulp destroys everything that it had sustained! Nature is the very repository for the calm. When humans mistake this, and take it for granted, abusing it, and misusing it, they are but digging their own burial grounds. For a day may come, when the earth shall rumble, and the oceans may set out to scale new limits, and then, man quivers!

What is amusing is that man, at that time, sets out to write poems and articles and makes movies, calling upon the nature to recollect what its duty is supposed to be! Deploring its rage! Asking it to forget the loads of abuse mankind has heaped on it! Sometimes, I do wonder, what the ocean would think about mankind! Mankind calls upon a relationship that it failed to respect and honor at the moment of its abuse - one wonders just how much more opportunist can man get to be! Before long, the ocean regains its composure! The cosmic silence again fills its depths, and rumbles onto the surface carried out by the mighty winds!

I admire nature, and its patience.

A Glossary for Netizens!

The Jan 16, 2006 edition of TIME has several interesting articles that makes it worth having in the collection. Some of the issues that it has concentrated this time around, includes the cultural dilemma faced by the many cross-culture breeds and more so, the Asian Americans; the recent scandal to rock the White House in the form of Jack Abramoff, and more importantly a series of articles based on some recent findings about the human brain and its effective utilization.

Of interest here is the last one. The growing techno-savviness, the rat race, and the urge to stay way ahead of everyone has, as the articles claim, begun to take a heavy toll on the power of our brains. Rather than enabling us to utilize the brain even more, such heavy gadgety trend has made us alarmingly dependent on the machines and hence even as our productivity is on a decline, various forms of disorders are on the rise. With this bird-view, I would leave it to the interests of my readers to either pursue and find out more, or else just ignore this post! (Oh! Well.. yet another on the list!).

For those of you, who continued to read on.. one of the articles concentrated on the issue of "Multi-tasking". This caught my attention because, I do a lot of this. Even as I am typing out my blog on my office computer, I have a program being executed on my laptop, a messenger running, a conversation over the cell phone, and not to forget the intermediate visits by my colleagues and supervisors..... oops.. just remembered something, lemme jot it down real quick on this stick pad, right next to me! I too like many others am deluged to think that I am being more productive, the article nevertheless begs to differ! This overt increase in the quantity of work, on the longer run seems to deteriorate the quality of the same!!

Well, it also lists a glossary of terms that have been introduced to funkily name our little "idiosyncracy" (as I would like it to be called.. rather than a compulsive disorder). I am sure, a lot of you out there, would be amazed to identify yourselves with them.

1. Screen Sucking:- Wasting time online long after you have finished what you signed on to do.
2. Frazzing:- Frantic, ineffective multitasking, typically with the delusion that you are getting a lot done. The quality of the work, however, is poor. (Thankfully, I feel I am at a stage where I can retract and revamp myself)
3. Pizzled:- How you feel when someone you are with pulls out a cell phone or Blackberry and uses it without an apology or explanation. A cross between pissed off and puzzled! (A lot of my friends were though.. and well heck! am not even picking up my cell phone now! Phew!)
4. Doomdart:- The internal distraction of a forgotten task that pops into your mind when you are doing something else. A side of frazzing.

Well all of these were taken from the article in the TIME magazine. It has in turn borrowed the same from a forthcoming book, CrazyBusy:Overstretched, Overbooked and About to Snap - Strategies for Coping in a World Gone ADD (Ballantine Books; 246 Pages) authored by psychiatrist Edward Hallowell.

Some observations from everyday life!!

1. Well, whoever said Life's a roller coaster ride, had for true, lived it! (Am gettin' good at making such quotable quotes). Well, the past few days, right after the very first week of the New Year, I had been way up above, and then took a plummetting drop to down the pit, and just when I thought that my carriage is going to be broken to splinters, it regained, and is in motion again! Now I just dunno what lays ahead, but yeah, I am loving this! Just when, the life feels that the person is getting complacent in its issue, it throws up a surprise! And boy! does that wake u up!!
2. It is very easy to be angry, mouth out words, to inflict wounds verbally, and later on regret. But as the great thinker Aristotle had figured it out much earlier in during the 300 BC period - To be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way - That is not easy!! (This is the opening quote from the world famous book "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman.)
3. It is easy to call discord, and mayhem a revolution! But to create a true revolution, we will have to first of all begin with the right step, and the right manner, in the right path, that shall lead us to our goals. Be it personal, or social, a revolution that has lost its sense of purpose, is detrimental, useless, and forgone!
4. With great power, comes great responsibility. (Ok! Spiderman! cool it! I know I took this off of you.. but hey! it was true in my case too!) The creativity one is vested with, is also a power. To nurture it, and to allow it to grow is a great responsibility! What is even greater is to know how to utilize it for the betterment of the self!
5. When our commitments over ride our lives! When our duties devastate our inner balance! When we begin to live a life for others so much that we forget to live for ourselves, that is when you realize that you must take a break! And in that realization, GO GET ONE!!
6. If one's happiness depends on what others say or think of us! Then there is a problem! (Based on one of my most favorite quotes from ILLUSIONS - by Richard Bach).
7. We sometimes let our hatred for our enemies come in between our love for our friends. We keep our enemies but lose our friends! (Yet another quotable quote by yours truly ;) )
8. Life is beautiful.

Chokher Bali : Tagore's message through a story!

Yesterday, I happened to watch a much acclaimed movie by Rituporna Ghosh - Choker Baali (Sand in the Eye). It is a movie based on an adaptation of the novel by Rabindranath Tagore - Binodini. The movie relates the tale of 2 women - Binodini and Ashalatha and their intense struggle over a man Mahendranath. The main protagonist is nevertheless Binodini. Mahendra's mother was initially interested in making Binodini her daughter-in-law, given her prowess in English and her beauty. But Mahendranath does not interest accept. Binodini is married to another person, who dies within a year. Mahendranath eventually marries Ashalatha (played by Riya Sen). Mahendranath's mother brings the widow Binodini home, and she grows close to Ashalatha. Binodini is given a name "Chokher Bali", by Ashalatha. Binodini who was till then restrained in her desires, begins to covet the marital pleasures that Ashalatha is enjoying. She now acts a seductress, and succeeds in enticing Mahendranath. This creates a rift between Mahendra and Ashalatha. The latter leaves to Kashi to spend some time in contemplation. Binodini is made to leave the house, and she arrives at the doorsteps of Behari (an adopted son for Mahendra's mother) and pleads with him to marry her. Having been rejected by him too, she comes back to her village, to be followed by Mahendra, who would have left his house for her sake.

Binodini, now has her heart set on Behari, and rejects Mahendra's advances, and pleads with him to take her to Kashi, so she can meet Behari again. He promises not to take advantage of her, and eventually at Kashi, Mahendra reunites with Ashalatha. Behari proposes to Binodini, but on the day of the marriage, Binodini leaves for good, and is never found.

The movie has a lot of highlights worth mentioning. The first and foremost is the depiction of the plight of widows in Calcutta, during the 1902 period. There are some very stirring moments such as when Binodini shows Ashalatha how to wear an English blouse her husband would have brought her. And while in Kashi, Ashalatha, being pregnant, is served fish curry by the widows. The widows then were barred from eating fish, and one can see the hunger in the eyes of the other widows, even as Ashalatha is eating the fish curry. Presumably, as shown in the movie, the widows were also barred from drinking tea. The script is taut, and interspersed with intelligent and witty dialogues - most of them flowing from the prime character, Binodini. The rebuke of Mahendranath by Binodini in several occassions has been very deftly treated. Right from the first advance that he makes towards her, Binodini has his manliness at her mercy! Sometimes, the viewer may be led to believe that Rituporna got carried away with the charisma of Aishwarya, and may have over cooked her character.

Sadly enough, Aishwarya Rai remains more of a sleaze factor in the movie than a character. Except in certain situations, her expression, in most part of the movie, is wooden! She fails to impress as a seductress. The necessary potion of intense romance, sexual tension, and allure is something that her body can just not brew! But its her eyes that are worth a thousand words and one has just gotto give it to 'em. The character of Ashalatha, played by Riya Sen (who for once doesn't seem so vampish) is a lack lustre, infront of Binodini. I am now interested to read the novel and to learn the treatment of the characters from the master himself! Though, I am sure that Rituporna would have done justice to all of 'em.

The most touching part of the movie is obviously the climax, wherein through a letter to her friend Ashalatha, Binodini draws a comparison of their condition with their land, Bengal. She laments over how, their lack of exposure to the wider world, and confinement to the four walls of household, resulted, in both of them fighting over a single man, and thus devastating the whole household. She hopes that even though, they have both parted ways (much like Bengal was divided into East and West Bengal), they would continue to remember their erstwhile friendship, and that it would still ensure that any future meetings between them (if it were to occur) would be cordial and as friendly as it were before.

I would want to do a more thorough review of the movie and its intended message to be passed across to the common man. Nevertheless, I would love to read the novel, before dwelling into more intricacies. That being, peace for now! Catch up with this one, whenever u are in mood for some serious stuff!

yoon kabhie apne aap se juda ho jaata hoon
aaine ke saamne anjaan sa rehta hoon
apnon se toh dUr rahtaa tha
ab mujhse bhi dUr rehtaa hoon!

jeene ki tamanna liye jiye jA rahe the
jeena kise kehte hain maalUm na tha!
Ek din maut saamne aake khaDi huyi
main zindagi ko alvida kehne chala tha!
zindagi ne kahaa tUne mEra karz chukaaya nahin!
tU toh mujhe jiya hI nahin!
main zindagi ko apnAna chahta tha!
Maut saamne aake khaDi huyi thi!

Have you ever had to break a bad news to the family over phone? Striking a conversation then becomes the most painful task! No matter how jovial or exuberant you may try to sound, the phonyness of the entire thing becomes evident sooner than one can say "hello"! It is even more so, with parents than anybody else!

What makes this task even more agonizing is the realization that you are the one stifling their dreams, aspirations, and happiness that you have yourself sowed in their life! For their part they may seem encouraging and supportive of your venture, but then the long drawn pauses between the sentences, the heavy breathing, and the choking voice are daggers that dig deep into one's soul, and makes life the most dreary thing to ever happen to you!

I hate myself when I am like this! Even more, when I am clueless! Like falling from pan to fire! But then again, what is wrong in feeling down at times? Staying upbeat and bubbly all the while is also being type cast. Isn't it? Or am I just rationalizing! I am missing my parents a lot. I wish I had my mother here with me, to reassure me that I can pull through this, and that everything is OK. I wish she would run her hands through my hair, mess them up and then set them straight again, joking on how many more hairs she made me lose. I wish my father was right next to me, assuring me that I am capable of handling anything that life throws at me, and that I can never disappoint him, as I never have, till now. The point being, they tried, they tried a lot. But, over a $ 5 call that will last 45 mins, I missed out on a lot of things! I dunno what to do... I just don't know.....

Don't you sometimes wish for life to be a lot simpler than it is ?! Or is it that we tend to complicate matters than they could have been! I do wish I had a better understanding of all this! Even more so, a better understanding of myself! It really helps a lot to either be absolutely knowledgeable or a complete ignorant! Somehow this business of somewhere in between isn't what I am carved out for!

Consider the situation when you have to make choices! And these choices are what carve out a niche in your life! No, it is not as simple as choosing what movie of SRK to watch - Ashoka or K3G ?! Both are equally exasperating on the nerves. And you know for sure, that before long you will be running away from it as if you caught Shakti Kapoor with his pants down!!

No, this isn't about it at all! These are choices that are related to the precious things in life! The one's that are essential for your happiness and also the family that relies on you! The Duality literally splits one apart and the pain is excruciating! Indecision, consequences, risks - all take a toll on the mind, and before long, I will find me slouching on the couch, like a sloth, drooling all over, my hair all pointy like a porcupine, with bowls of icecream in front of me, watching reruns of Kattegalu saar Kattegalu, and suddenly developing a sense of liking to Ekta Kapoor's soaps!!

These are the times, I miss so many people! People with whom I probably could have confided my confusions and fears, with whom I might have spoken my concerns freely! I so much wish I would be a child again!

Even as I am lying on the bed typing this, my heart wishes that, I go to sleep now, and when I get up in the morning, everything would have been resolved! Yet! I know its only a wish! Have I stifled myself so much that I can't even plunge to take a risk, or is it that I value ethics, quite enough to restrain me from getting lured into matters, I later may regret? Yet again, today, my mind is full of questions. Just questions. And there is the wish.. of becoming a child again.. or maybe this is what growing up is all about! My eyes are getting drowzy.....